Love can be complicated. And if our grandparents are to be believed, we the millennials are to blame for it. It seems our generation has taken what was earlier considered a black or white, homogeneous emotion and added endless “nuances” to it. For example, most in our generation would not agree to one definition of “true love”. Others would agree that sometimes (just sometimes) the process of falling in love may be more exciting than the love itself. And most would declare without doubt that love is nothing if it doesn’t mean shared politics.
Maybe because politics, especially in India, is so much like millennial love with political liasoning being as complicated as millennial dating. The biggest example of this in recent weeks is West Bengal’s ruling party, Trinamool no Congress (TMC) and their continuing, confusing saga with the Congress party. In fact, the TMC-Congress relationship is probably the best way to explain the nuances of millennial love. How you ask? Keep reading.
1. TUNING
Tuning is when someone you know for some time playfully flirts with you in an attempt to change the dynamics of your existing relationship. It’s not full-on courtship, but just a late-night text here, and a brush of the arm there. Their communication will get flirtier than earlier but will remain neutral enough so that they can deny any interest in you later.
After the West Bengal elections of 2021, when the TMC, led by Mamata Banerjee, scored a massive victory over the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), tuning was the former’s weapon of choice to make a foray into national politics. And the Congress was the first party they swiped right on.
After the election – wherein the two parties were political opponents and refused to form an alliance against the BJP (touted as their common enemy) – both the TMC and the Congress softened their stance against each other. The Congress’ Bengal chief, Adhir Chowdhury, earlier a fiery critic of Mamata, does not publicly berate her anymore.
On her part, Mamata, after the elections emphasized on her “long-term” relationship with Congress chief Sonia Gandhi, calling the party to unitedly fight the BJP, along with the rest of the Opposition.
“Hum akele kuch nahi," said Mamata while addressing Sonia Gandhi, a line Paxton Hall Yoshida would definitely have used on Devi if he knew Hindi. Important to note, though, that this is distinctively different from “Hum tumhaare bina nahi reh paayenge”, which is what Devi wanted Paxton to tell her.
But, in this case, the Congress got tuned good.
2. BENCHING
In response to the TMC’s advances, the Congress used another oft-employed dating technique – benching.
Benching, originally a sporting lingo, is when you keep someone on the sidelines, a waitlist if you will, without committing to them. You may return to them from time to time to have the occasional romantic chit-chat, and the dreamy dinners, but you’re not in a relationship just yet. There are other contenders for that spot.
During her first visit to Delhi after the elections, Mamata Banerjee met a slew of senior Congress leaders (because this is India, and it is important to win over family) before meeting Sonia and Rahul Gandhi at their residence.
The photos had some theorizing their body language, again a usual practice when two potential lovers are around each other. “Do they look good together?” was asked in multiple WhatsApp messages and Instagram DMs.
Congress leaders, on their part, showered Mamata with praises, reminiscing their days together when she was also a part of the party. But will they ally and let her take the lead as the main Opposition face in 2024? “We are not in a relationship…yet,” is what the grand old party had to say.
3. SOFT-GHOSTING
Those who know and have followed Mamata Banerjee, would agree that she’s the kind who’d never want to “be an option” in a romantic pursuit. And so of course, she did what we all do when we’re benched – start soft-ghosting our bencher. Because... well... they should know who’s in-charge.
Soft-ghosting, is a milder form of the more heart-wrenching “ghosting”. While when you ghost someone, you take off from their lives without warning and stop returning their texts completely, soft-ghosting is when you ghost intermittently. So, while you’re still not replying to texts, you’d probably like their latest Insta picture or send heart reacts to their dog stories.
The TMC did just that. The party has either avoided or skipped all Opposition meets called by Rahul Gandhi. The most recent example of this was when the TMC did not participate in a march to parliament by the Opposition that Gandhi helmed. However, they never let up an opportunity to mention that the Congress was a "friend".
“If somebody thinks we will participate in any programme, that is not possible. They have to tell us. We will discuss with our leader then decide. We shall take each case on a merit basis. Our intention is that we are working for the Opposition unity”, said TMC leader Saugata Roy, in an interview to News18, when asked about the same.
“We are friends, but we can be ahead of you," he added.
And that right there - the passive aggressiveness - is what soft-ghosting is all about!
4. BREADCRUMBING
But Mamata being Mamata, soft ghosting was just not enough. The game had to be taken a notch higher.
Breadcrumbing is a little like benching, except used mostly when people start taking you for granted or may indicate that they’re losing interest in you. So, they’ll ensure that you know your place, but they don’t want to shoo you away. The idea is to keep you guessing as to whether or not they’re still interested in them. This technique involves alternating between criticism and compliments, so that the other person is constantly on his/her toes.
In the past couple of weeks, the TMC has done just that. While Saugata Roy made it clear that Congress “can’t call all the shots”, the Trinamool’s more 'national' faces, like Derek O’Brien, publicly criticized Twitter for blocking Rahul Gandhi’s account of the social media platform, along with that of the Congress party and other Congress leaders.
However, right after, TMC leader Kunal Ghosh criticized the Congress for a social media post it had made on Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose’s death anniversary. Ghosh said that the Congress’ post was hurtful to Bengali sentiments as the date of Netaji’s death, how he died, and its circumstances are still a matter of debate in Bengal, with many subscribing to different theories regarding the same.
“Strongly object to this tweet. This date of death is not proved. Both Congress and BJP govt didn't try to find out the real facts regarding the last moments of Netaji. Don't play with emotions of Bengal and India. First prove the death. Publish the classified files”, Ghosh wrote on Twitter.
Before that, though, it was reported that Mamata Banerjee will be attending an Opposition meet called by Sonia Gandhi in Delhi next week.
You see what I mean?
5. DE-BERGING
De-berging is when you get a witty friend to write or copy-edit your romantic/flirtatious texts. The person you’re texting is, of course, not aware that the writer is your friend.
De-berging is where the Congress and the TMC are currently. Except, instead of writing text messages, the TMC is inducting former Congress leaders into their folds and getting them to send across its message to the Congress high-command. Over the last few weeks, Congress leaders Abhijit Mukherjee and Sushmita Dev, as well as activist Saket Gokhale, known to be very close to Rahul Gandhi, have joined the TMC.
Interestingly, none of them have outrightly criticized the Congress, but only said that that the TMC is a more “aggressive” party where they’d be able to do better work against the BJP.
Now, what better way to convey how awesome you are than being certified by those who’ve been with your potential love interest for decades? This box, too, has therefore, been checked by the TMC.
All eyes now on Sonia Gandhi’s meeting and Mamata’s reaction after. Will they DTR? Or will it remain a 'situationship'?
No, I’m not explaining what that means. Google it.
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