Mother Abused for Over 30 Years, Daughter Calls out Father on FB

In June, Ruma Saha locked herself in her bathroom and frantically called her son to escape her husband’s assault.

A 30-year-old woman from Kolkata took to Facebook on 1 November to talk about domestic abuse in her family, which she claims she’s witnessed since childhood.

For Ratula Saha, a model and HR professional, things finally came to a tipping point on Wednesday, 1 November, after her father allegedly beat her up when she was trying to protect her mother from yet another bout of beating. Seventy-year-old Subhash Chandra Saha, a former WBCS officer, has been physically abusing his wife, 60-year-old Ruma, since a few months after they for got married, the family alleged.

On the other hand, Ratula said that she had tried to file a police complaint after the incident, but the police had refused to note down her complaint stating that it was a family matter and that they must sort it out among themselves, compelling her to take to Facebook to seek legal help.

The incident comes to light even as West Bengal continues to have one of the highest-rates of domestic violence in the country.

In a post that she has since deleted due to legal reasons, Ratula says that her mother, brother, and her have been victims of domestic abuse. “We used to hide in fear and cry as he beat our mother up for the smallest of things,” wrote Ratula.

She even went on to say that her father asked her to stop her education after school so that she does not grow up to question him.

“He used to say, ‘what I do to my own wife in my own house is nobody’s business,’” Ratula told The Quint.

She asked for help on Facebook, but who helped her the most were her neighbours like Sutapa Kundu, who said that they have been hearing about the violence for years but everybody in the neighbourhood brushed it off as a “private matter between the family.”

On Wednesday, I thought I can’t keep shut anymore and came to the balcony when the beating was happening. I then took them to the police station. The police refused to take a complaint because they said it’s a family matter. They just came home and asked the father to put in writing that he will not indulge in such behaviour again. He seemed emboldened by it and said, ‘The police did not do anything because they know what a big officer I used to be.’

Sutapa Kundu, neighbour

It was only later in the evening, after Ratula’s post went viral, that the police registered a complaint. The police have now moved to a local court to begin a case against the accused under Section 323 of the Indian Penal Code.

“Everyone Knew”

What is most curious about this case is the fact that most people in the Saha family as well as neighbours knew about the constant abuse for years.

In June this year, my mother called my brother after locking herself inside the bathroom to escape my father. When we got back, we saw that she had bruises on her face and marks all over her body. After that, we came to terms that we have kept quiet for so long but we won’t anymore.

Ratula Saha to The Quint

“These things kept happening in joint families. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and most people in the family always knew,” said Ruma, recalling the early days of her marriage. 

“It never occurred to me to go to the police because I was not financially independent and my children were really young. I also felt bad because matters of the house would go out in the public,” she told The Quint.

Ruma told her sister-in-law after the incident in June, who said that “this was in his nature” and nothing else. “Nobody ever tried to explain to him. People would shut their windows when they heard noises coming from our house,” she rued.

Her neighbour, Sutapa, said that whenever she tried to bring the issue up within their housing community, she would be shut down for trying to meddle in their matter. “Is domestic violence a private issue? Is this what we allow in our society? Ruma’s brother is a lawyer, even then nobody from the family has taken any legal step against this for so many years,” she said.

Shaming the Victim

Even as help and support poured in after her Facebook post, many also questioned Ratula’s motive behind putting up a social media post and not reporting directly to the police. Many questioned her career choices and said that she was just a model seeking publicity.

Some even went on to say that she’s a “bad girl” for dressing the way she does and hence her story cannot be trusted.

Responding to the onslaught of patriarchy, Ratula wrote another Facebook post saying that she invites people to come and personally speak to her neighbours if they doubt her story.

“I wrote that post out of helplessness because the police refused to take a complaint. I was not seeking publicity and I say this even now- the story is not about me, it is my mother who is the victim.”

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