‘No Parent Must Send Their Kids to Kota’: Father of Student Who Died by Suicide

On the evening of 23 February 2023, Aaraam Singh, a government servant, was sitting at his home in Uttar Pradesh’s Sahaswan, a small hamlet in Budaun district, when he received a phone call that changed his life. The call was from an unknown number. An officer of the Kota Police had dialled him to inform him that his son Abhishek Yadav’s room had been locked for several hours.“What should we do? Should we break open the door?” the policeman asked. Without a thought, Singh said yes. “It would have taken me 8-10 hours to reach Kota. We couldn’t wait till then. We had to know what condition Abhishek was in,” Singh says.(Trigger Warning: Discussions of suicide.) On the other side of the door that evening was Abhishek’s body.On 22 February this year, 17-year-old Abhishek Yadav allegedly died by suicide in Rajasthan’s Kota. He had been preparing for the nationwide medical entrance examination or NEET at the city’s Allen Institute for the past two years. In a suicide note recovered by the Kunhari police, Abhishek had 'apologised' to his parents and written that he was facing 'immense academic pressure'.In 2023 alone, at least 29 students died by suicide in Kota – the highest in almost a decade.'Suicide Mat Karna Bas': Kota's Counsellors Are Not Really Helping StudentsThe night of 23 February was a long one for Abhishek's family. When Singh was leaving for Kota, he didn’t tell anyone at home what was actually happening. “I didn’t want to worry anyone. Haalat bigad jaati sabki ghar pe batate toh. I told them Abhishek had fallen somewhere and was hurt. But the police had told me the truth already,” says Singh.When Singh reached Kota with his two elder sons, Abhishek’s body was already at the morgue, where they were told a postmortem would be conducted soon.After Abhishek’s death, a case was lodged in the Kunhari Police Station under Section 174 of the Criminal Procedure Code to “enquire and report on the suicide.”The Quint hasn’t been able to access a copy of the complaint yet. Our calls to the Kunhari police station's inspector Ganga Sahay Sharma did not receive any response too. But Singh says that he has raised a few questions in the complaint that he wants answered. He says that the answers would help him understand why his son was forced to take his own life.Singh asks, “If my child is absent for many consecutive days and missing multiple tests, is it not the coaching’s responsibility to inform us? We pay Rs 1.5-2 lakh, and they don’t have any responsibility towards us? If my child is not eating for 2-3 days, is it not the PG owner’s responsibility to inform us?”He goes on to allege, “My child died by suicide on 22 February. We were informed by the police on 23 February evening. How did the PG owner not know that one of his tenants was dead for the past 20 hours in his room? What do we make of this? Who is accountable? Who will take responsibility? Why was a video not made when the room was opened? How do we know what really happened?”When The Quint reached out to Annapurna Residency, where Abhishek was staying, seeking responses to these allegations, Manoj Chauhan, the hostel owner, too almost broke down while speaking."Why would any hostel owner want that something like this happen to anyone, and in their hostel? We have suffered huge losses due to this incident, and the mental impact that we have faced is something no one would even know. The only investigation that should be happening is to get to the bottom of why this happened. If there was a fault with us or our hostel, another student living here wouldn't have cleared the exams," says Chauhan.He goes on to question if "everything is the hostel's responsibility.""We take attendance, we make sure every child eats. But if your child is not picking your calls, shouldn't you the be one calling me or the warden to go check on him? When the warden didn't see the student all day and he didn't eat, that's when we called the police."Manoj ChauhanOn the other hand, the spokesperson for Allen, in an email to The Quint, said, "Allen’s team had reached out to Abhishek’s parents through multiple automated calls, manual calls, and test SMS."They added that that to ensure student welfare, Allen has a dedicated psychological counselling team for the students, a welfare society, and student helpline numbers, among other measures.'Those Who Die Are Called Martyrs': In Rajasthan's 'Mini Kota' Suicide is a JokeSince Abhishek’s demise, his family feels shattered. Singh breaks down as he says, “Sab khaali khaali lagta hai. Ab bacha hi kya hai hamare pass? Jiska jawan bacha khatam ho jaaye, vo kya hi karega? Koi wapas bhi nahi la sakta hai usse toh. Jab ladke ki yaad aati hai, toh ro lete hai bas… (Everything feels empty. What are we left with now? What can we even do after losing our young son? No one can bring our son back now. We just cry every time we remember him.)”He adds that it’s only for his family that he’s trying to be strong. He adds that they would talk to Abhishek every single day. Singh would travel to Kota to be with his son every chance he got. Abhishek’s mother, Tara Devi, even visited him in Kota in January and lived with him for several days.What breaks Singh’s heart more is that he hadn’t talked to his son for two days before his death. Singh spoke with Abhishek on 20 February. Not knowing it would be the last time.He still hasn't been returned his son's phone – which is in the Kota Police's custody for records – he thinks maybe seeing Abhishek's photos would have helped me through the last many months.Over all these talks, did Abhishek ever mention that he was struggling or facing any kind of pressure? No, says Singh. He feels that had Abhishek opened up to them, they could have been able to do something, called him back home, tried to save him…“From what I understand, he was stressed because a friend of his was scoring better marks than him. He once told me that the top kids would feel depressed if they didn’t score well in the monthly exams. We would assure him that there was no pressure on him to crack NEET. He could always do something else or we could find another way. But I don’t think I got through him.”Aaraam Singh'Living Alone, Eating Alone, Studying Alone': Making Friends in Kota Is DauntingAbhishek didn’t always know what he wanted to be when he grew up. But he was still always the one caring for everybody else and guiding them, his father tells The Quint.One of three brothers, Abhishek was the youngest. His two elder brothers – Amod (22) and Anuj (20) – run a medical store and a shoes store, respectively, in their village. And Singh is an education officer at a government school.But Abhishek had bigger dreams. “Bigger than all of us…” sighs Singh. He wanted to be a doctor and do something for others. Abhishek was probably inspired by one of his relatives who did his medical training in Russia, his father says. While Abhishek didn’t want to move abroad, he would often toss between wanting to work in a government hospital and starting his own practice.“Abhishek was the one who guided his older brothers too. He was the one who’d be keenly interested in how the medical store was running.”Aaraam Singh'Students Who Need Help Never Reach Out': Inside Kota Police's 'Student Cell'Two years ago, when Abhishek had first floated the idea of Kota in front of his family, Singh wasn’t excited, or even convinced, to let his son go. “Kota is so far away. I suggested he could go to Aligarh or Bareilly since they are much closer to home. But he said that he wants to go to Kota since that is the best coaching centre. He said children have to move away for studies someday.”Aaraam SinghSingh breaks down on the phone while speaking to The Quint, “Back then, I didn’t know about the student suicide problem in Kota. Otherwise, I won’t have sent him there at all. Kids go there at a very young age. The environment in Kota, the constant news of suicides, children lose their morale. We lost everything to Kota. We would never tell anyone to send their child to Kota.”This article is part of The Quint's Special Project on the Kota crisis. Click here to support us to bring you more such important stories.It’s Not the Fan, Kota: India Must Rethink How We Approach Suicides Of Students

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‘No Parent Must Send Their Kids to Kota’: Father of Student Who Died by Suicide

Abhishek Yadav, who was preparing for NEET at Kota's Allen Institute, allegedly died by suicide in February 2023.

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