Every Office Party Ever: A Peek Into a Millennial’s Weekend

I once had a friend drunk-dial his manager at midnight asking for a raise #justofficepartyscenes

It has begun...the rumination, contemplation, momentary denial, and finally, the reluctant acceptance of the next office party – your colleagues being the only official bit. It is miles away from the office premises, with your boss nowhere in the vicinity. With just your ‘work buddies’ around, it can be called a safe territory to let loose.

This is how it pans out –

You are stranded amidst a familiar bunch of people, having the same conversation as the last party, smiling incessantly, engaging in small talk, crooning to the beats of the same old party numbers. By the end of it, you are probably sloshed enough to wake up with raccoon eyes and a splitting headache.

That’s just a teaser for the uninitiated. I once had a friend drunk-dial his manager at midnight asking for a raise.

But there’s more...

The Stage is Set...

From the surreptitious invites (just in case the person sitting next to you is not invited) to the venue (whose house do you have to go to?), a lot of thought goes into the planning. The D-Day finally arrives. You can see the bustling excitement on the face of the first-time-invitee.

And then you show up. Just a glance at the venue and you can tell the fresher from the veteran. While the former takes the dress code damn seriously, showing up in their glamorous best, the latter couldn’t care less. And you’d be damned if you're the first to arrive – especially since you aren’t super close to the host.

Slowly, the party comes alive, chatter and laughter flowing as freely as the booze. It swells up with new arrivals, breaks into groups as it progresses. Just when you are on your second drink, you hear a nonchalant voice asking, “Is someone rolling?” Few eyes gleam at the prospect, making their way to the room where the ‘legends’ are way past the warm-up stage.

The party continues unabated, with people slowly parking themselves in their comfort zones – the compulsive drinker hovering around the bar, the perpetually-hungry nibbling at the half-cold momos, and the party animal burning the dance floor.

Make no mistake, these weekend soirées are also the only events where you get to unwind. Your millennial existence uproots you, transporting you to a new place. Your college buddies are scattered all over the globe. You meet your family only occasionally. You probably work extra hours through the week.

And amidst the fun and frolic of these office parties, you manage to have a good time.

The Characters Arrive...

Remember Rani’s emotional outburst after a night of drunken fun in Queen? There’s bound to be a Rani in every office party.

A few drinks down, you can find them sobbing in a corner, sulking about everything under the sun – from their soul-sucking job to that unrelenting ex.

You eventually move on – only to bump into Mr/Miss ‘I know I have had too much to drink but I won’t stop’ throwing up unabashedly on the bathroom floors.

You rush to the balcony to get a breather, but the space is already occupied by a bunch of people engaged in some wild argument.

The smokers have already placed dibs on the other balcony. There are some talking ONLY work, along with the social media ninja snap-chatting drunk selfies, and a friend hammered beyond wits.

And somewhere in a corner, you’ll find a veteran – a regular partygoer – entertaining a bunch of people with all the unheard office gossip. Inebriated to the hilt, he will carefully guard his sources, but nonetheless, divulge the juicy details with relish.

Suddenly, summoned by the beats of the latest Honey Singh number, one of the gypsies will rush towards the dance floor. He will join the tipsy girl on the floor, who has been dancing since her arrival, holding a beer can in her hand.

The loner will be seen sauntering from one group to another, taking selfies should his presence be refuted the morning after.

There is always a couple or two, embellishing the party with their cutesy romance.

Finally comes the latecomer. Beware, S/he is probably coming from another party, and might have to leave soon for another.

What the Party Looks Like at Midnight...

The party peaks around midnight, with vacuous bursts of laughter filling the atmosphere. It is also the time when drunk dancing makes way for innocent flirting, overwhelming niceties, inappropriate jokes and craving for non-existent food. Millennial parsimony has done away with food, with alcohol and chakhna being the staple diet at parties.

Time flits away. You forcibly put the ‘way-too-drunk-but-too-proud-to-accept-it’ friend into a cab to see them home safely – you can sense the eagerness in your manner tighten abruptly into formality. The last of the party revellers cluster around the host. They’re probably going to crash here.

The place is littered with cigarette stubs, drinks spilled at hidden nooks and corners, empty glasses and more. You prepare to say goodbye, leaving the hosts to repair the ravages of the night before.

The morning after, amidst the mumbling and murmuring, you fill in people, who skipped the rendezvous, with details of the night. You get back to work half-heartedly, and wait for the next invite.