Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. Dil To Paagal Hai. Mughal-e-Azam. Hum Aapke Hain Koun. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Dil Se. Maine Pyar Kiya. Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Aashiqui. Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha. Ishq.
The stories that a culture gives birth to, the stories that will live, prosper, adapt, and survive long after its original tellers and listeners are gone, are the stories that tell us what the culture cherishes.
And there is no form of storytelling, here and now, that rivals the reach and influence of the silver screen.
Bollywood is in love with love – it is the motivating principle in nearly all of its biggest, brightest, best offerings. At this point, how and why and who we love is decided at least as much by the ideas perpetuated by Bollywood as it is by biology.
Which puts us in a little bit of a bind because loving someone Bollywood style is hard work. Romantic love in mainstream Hindi cinema, invariably between middle-class, heterosexual protagonists, is a grand spectacle.
It doesn’t involve quiet moments of togetherness or small acts of devotion. It requires elaborate costumes, an army of set designers, blatant disregard for laws and a lot of fireworks. Don’t believe us? Have a look at the following offenders.
Mann (1999)
Where a lot of trees die so Aamir Khan and Manisha Koirala can have this five-second moment.
Kyun Ho Gaya Na (2004)
Please stop, Vivek Oberoi.
Om Shanti Om (2007)
“If a romantic gesture is made and no laws are broken, can it be said to have occurred?” – Bollywood’s George Berkeley
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008)
Shah Rukh Khan’s Raj engineers this elaborate moment in a song full of similarly elaborate moments, to woo a wife who doesn’t recognise him without his moustache.
Bachna Ae Haseeno (2008)
The only people made happy by Bachna Ae Haseeno were candle-makers.
Bonus Entry: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (Again!)
Nothing more romantic than misusing one’s connections to deprive an entire city of power.
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