There can never be too much written, said, and argued about daughters and sons. It is widely known that a particular gender is preferred over the other in most sections of society.
It elevates the status of the mother to have borne a baby boy. The toothless, wailing prince in diapers already bears the responsibility of carrying the business and family name ahead.
Right from his first rattle to the tapestries of his room, there's a deluge of the colour blue. He wears blue, is genetically 'inclined' to be boisterous and demanding and plays only with guns and cars — the very toys that become lethal two decades later.
The girls, on the other hand, are dressed up in candy pink and play with pink plastic dolls. The innocuous Barbie dolls become their benchmark of beauty. And subconsciously, they learn all that a girl is supposed to be is, simply pretty!
Narrowing the World View
Why blame anyone but ourselves for narrowing the world view of our children?
There is nothing wrong with a boy wearing blue pants and playing cricket, or a girl playing with dolls and wanting to look pretty. But it's dangerously wrong to keep her bereft of so much more that the world has to offer.
We've all been fed on a staple diet of fairy tales wherein a forlorn princess waits for her knight in shining armour to rescue her from the dungeons and witches. I think it's time to rewrite those fairy tales. We need the princesses who are able to get on top of a galloping horse and emerge victorious. If she manages to save a prince or two from the clutches of a demon, even better!
Treating Women as Equal
Men and women are yin and yang. They are complementary forces. They function well together, and not when one overpowers the other. There are genetic differences between the two, which is why they are so beautifully distinct in their own right. But that certainly does not make one superior over the other.
Just the other day, I overheard a distressed woman at the hospital who was worried about her husband's ailing health, telling her teenaged daughter to stop crying, and “become her father's son instead”. The last three words broke my heart. How does a daughter become a son? More importantly, why does she have to?
Daughters are inherently more expressive. They are emotionally more aware. They love, care and bind the family together. To become worthy children of their parents, do they have to aspire to become their 'sons'? Can they not remain just the best daughters instead? Does that also mean that a son who cries and vents out, is weak and is 'acting like a girl'?
Choosing from an Array of Colours
The society mirrors our values and beliefs. The day we stop telling our girls to view the world only with rose-tinted glasses and embrace the warmth of flaming reds and the cool of soothing blues, the world will be a much happier place. This reminds me of my three-year-old daughter who carries with her a toy dinosaur wherever she goes. It even sleeps with her in the cot! And the best part is, it's not even pink!
This is what happens when the boys and girls are allowed to choose from an array of colours. Give them the rainbow, and watch them conquer the storm!
(The writer is a Chandigarh-based educationist. This is a personal blog and the views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for the same.)
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