Today, is the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia. It was on this day (17 May) in the year 1990 that homosexuality was removed from the list of mental disorders by the World Health Organization. Prior to that, the incidences of homophobia were plummeting.
The fact that it was listed as a mental disorder gave impetus to hatred and bigotry targeted on the LGBTIQ community. Not that the hate stopped, but this delisting armed the average LGBT person with all the tools to strengthen their side of the debate.
This declassification was the genesis of a movement for acceptance and the integration of the LGBTIQ community into the mainstream. Today, there are pride marches in almost every part of India. In fact, as I am typing this, the Pride of Bhopal is being organized. But as much as there are pride flags flaring in the sky, there is also the painful realization that this doesn’t indicate eradication of homophobia. Pride events do build an ecosystem where people can come out and feel comfortable.
However amidst all the music for equality, the question we should be asking ourselves, the bigger question, is this – What about the phobia within the LGBTIQ community itself?
Are we, the LGBTIQ, one tight close knit unit, with no conflicts amongst ourselves? The answer is sad and brutal. There is enough misogyny, misandry, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia within the community itself.
Here are some of the phrases that LGBT persons encounter without doubt, in their lives. They have either used these phrases themselves, or have heard them being used by someone else, and have not bothered to correct them.
“I’m Gay, But Not Panzy Gay”
Some gay men think they are epitomes of masculinity. While I can quite understand that some may get titillated to a certain body type, but to extend this to various forms of discrimination within the community, is a rude attempt to vilify someone on their behaviour or body type. There have been cases where these alpha males would ensure that they are not in the company of effeminate gays, some eliminating them from guest lists of parties.
“Bisexuals Want the Best of Both Worlds”
Biphobia is as rampant in lesbians and gays as it is in heterosexuals. “You should make up your mind, do you want a man or a woman?” is something people say in “jest” to bisexuals. Bisexual women, when they come out to their parents, are told “atleast 50% you like men, so marry one”. They seem to never understand that despite being attracted to their gender and another gender, they are capable of living absolutely committed and monogamous lives. Just as heterosexual men and women can get attracted to more than one person, yet are capable of committed relationships.
“No Entry for CD and TGs”
This is a common thing you get to see in many of the LGBTIQ party invites. Some are outright discriminatory, like this one event that I walked out of. I actually heard the organizer saying “lets weed the Cross Dressers and Transgenders out”. There are some who face genuine issues from people in the local vicinity of the party venue. But they would rather masquerade their party in a straight jacket, than educate the venue and their locality.
“Hijras Are Beggars, Why Can’t They Get Jobs?”
People assume that all transgenders are Hijras and all Hijras are beggars. The fact is that Hijra is a community, or a group of people, with a common past and practices. They are usually transgenders, who after being thrown out of their homes, are adopted and inducted by these generous group of Hijras, into their families. We venerate or despise Hijras. We ask them why they beg, but we don’t educate them or give them jobs. When homosexuals come out to a non accepting family member, they are often asked if they are Hijras. Maybe, that adds to their anger against Hijras.
But how can that be an excuse for eternity? Many in the gay and lesbian world either consider Hijras to be a separate entity, rather than be coupled with them. Even the well employed gays and lesbians have done little to look at them beyond the mould of victims or their CSR cause.
I must admit. I was a transphobe, a Hijraphobe, and a biphobe too. I didn’t know it until I called out my own prejudices and replaced them with knowledge and empathy. We need to break these silos within the LGBTIQ community itself, before we can turn to the world. We need to be comfortable and free of prejudice amongst ourselves.
Today, I feel even more, the need to integrate. We need to wipe out the phobias and stereotypes from our own world first. Not every lesbian is bossy, not every gay man is pansy, not every bisexual is confused, not every transperson is loud and rude. But if they are, that’s normal too. If we, people from a marginalized community, one that has been invisible for far too long, don’t accept our kith and kin, can we really expect the same from the heterosexual community?
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