At around half past 10 on Sunday morning in New Delhi, when journalist Srishti Jaswal saw a post on Instagram that said her friend Fazil Khan had died in a fire in New York, she replied in shock: “What?????” She had seen the heartbreaking news on my Instagram story.
In utter disbelief, she opened WhatsApp and messaged Fazil, “Hi Fazil. How are you?” There was no response. A few minutes later, she wrote again, “Are you fine?”
Soon, a friend called and confirmed the worst. But Srishti kept saying, “Yakeen hi nahi ho raha (I can’t believe it).”
Our friend Fazil Khan, a 27-year-old Indian journalist based in New York, had died after a deadly fire struck an apartment building in uptown Manhattan’s Harlem, on Friday, 23 February. The fire was caused by a lithium-ion battery, according to the New York City Fire Department.
This article in memory of Fazil is a tribute to the “gem of a person” that he was.
Chandni Raat
In 2018, Fazil had completed a postgraduate program in English Journalism at the Indian Institute of Mass Communication (IIMC) in New Delhi.
Sanchari Dasgupta, a batchmate of Fazil’s at IIMC, reminisces, “This one time after leaving IIMC, we met at a friend's flat in Noida when late in the night Fazil and I were sitting at the terrace and just staring at the night sky. He was a great singer and I found his voice resembling Ali Sethi's so I made him sing Chandni Raat. There was silence all around.” “Chandni raat, badi der baad aayi hai… (This moonlit night, has come to shine after a long time.)”
Sanchari adds, “And there's gonna be silence forever now. Just his soulful voice ringing in my ears forever.” In the early hours of 24 February, the night of Fazil’s passing, the moon was at its fullest. It was a chandni raat.
Passing It On
I had first spoken to Fazil in July 2022. I was at Columbia for a summer program, and had been thinking about whether I should apply for a full-time Master’s degree at Columbia Journalism School (CJS).
Fazil had completed his Master’s in Data Journalism at CJS the previous year, in August 2021. A professor at the university introduced us to each other over email.
The next morning, Fazil replied, “Hi Meghnad, happy to talk about Columbia programs and stuff…” When I spoke to him for the first time over the phone the following day, what was meant to be a short conversation lasted for much, much longer. Fazil, in his infinite kindness, explained the different programs at Columbia Journalism School to me, the type of scholarships and financial aid on offer, the kind of work opportunities that were available to students after the program, and so much more… And so began our friendship.
The call with him put me at ease in a way I can’t explain. I felt I had someone I could turn to with my doubts. After the call, I knew I wanted to apply to the Data Journalism program at CJS, the same that Fazil had graduated from.
In the months that followed, we would communicate often. Every single time, Fazil would answer each and every one of my doubts. Once, when I thanked him profusely for all the time he would spend answering my questions, he spoke to me about the concept of “passing it on”. He said that when he had applied to Columbia, there had been those who had helped him. And that since he got to Columbia, he was only passing it on.
He would help people every year with their doubts about the application process and about life in New York. Even as he helped me, I knew that he was also in touch with my friend Arshi Qureshi, whose queries he was responding to as well.
In just as much detail, with the same patience and kindness so characteristic of him. Arshi says, “Fazil was a gem of a person. I connected with him when I was just thinking of applying to Columbia Journalism School. When I was navigating the maze of applications and uncertainties before Columbia, his advice, from essays to visas, expenses to renting in New York, was a lifeline. He never once made me feel like I was asking too much.”
In March 2023, when Arshi received an offer of admission from Columbia, Fazil was among the first people she shared the news with. I too received an acceptance from Columbia that same night, and thanked Fazil for all his help.
And what he said about “passing it on” always stayed with me. Now, as I pursue a Master’s course at CJS myself, I receive an abundance of questions every month from prospective applicants. I have tried to answer each and every doubt that has come my way, just as I knew Fazil would. Because, like Fazil had said, it was now my turn to pass it on.
In December 2023, I reached out to Fazil to plan a meet over coffee. We were both in New York City. He responded, “Hey, I’m headed out to India tomorrow for a few weeks actually.” We decided to meet once he returned from India.
That meeting was to happen soon. On Saturday night, as I sat in my living room, I saw a post about an Indian student who had died in a fire in New York. The picture accompanying the headline sent me in shock. I let out a scream in agony.
I called Arshi and broke the news to her. Both of us were so taken aback, and we kept rueing that we had been planning to meet Fazil soon. I kept going back to my WhatsApp chat with him.
Fazil's last message to me.
(Photo: Meghnad Bose)
And every time I saw that last message, my heart broke all over again.
‘He Had Wings To Fly but Roots To Come Back to His People’
“He really deserved to live…”, says Srishti Jaswal, a batchmate of Fazil’s at IIMC. Srishti wrote on Instagram, “I have erased these sentences more than I have typed. Because words don't flow. Because I don't know what I can write about Fazil. Because his death is a sudden shock and his life…is incomplete.”
She continued, “How can we accept that Fazil is no more? One of the brightest in our batch. While we were dreaming, he was already living those dreams. He got one of the best placements in the college, then left that job for a higher dream at Columbia J-school. He worked hard. Got finer and kinder with time. He deserved a life. A life where he could have contributed more to the society because he was that kind, "the one who lives for others."
“It's not just our loss, it's humanity's loss that they lost someone like Fazil.”
Reminiscing about Fazil, Srishti tells me, “He wanted to grow. He wanted to learn. He left that job for a life in a foreign country. I knew it was difficult, but he had the courage to do it. He was ambitious, talented and more than anything, he was kind. He was humble. He had wings to fly but roots to come back to his people.”
He did come back to his people. A couple of days before his death, Fazil had posted a series of pictures on Instagram from his recent trip to India. He wrote, “was in Delhi last month. Pretty much hung around with my niece the whole time. (+ a photo with ma!)” There was a picture of his niece surrounded by toys, and one with him and his mother, her right arm placed lovingly on his shoulder.
Fazil with his mother
'My Mom is Proud of Me'
Ankita Singh, another batchmate of Fazil’s at IIMC, says, “When he landed his first job at Business Standard through campus placement - he was ecstatic. He said, "My mom is proud of me."
She reminisces, “He was very passionate about journalism and was very sincere in studies. He was a good singer, he acted well, he used to mimic a lot of people, and he used to make people laugh with his one-liners.”
Sahil, a classmate of Fazil’s at IIMC, says, “We all knew he was meant to do great things. What set him apart was his incredible focus - whether it was for his professional pursuits or personal goals, he approached each task with dedication. When he moved to New York, it just felt like it was just another chapter in life. Whenever he visited India, he made sure to meet his friends. Always stood behind them despite being on the other side of the world. His love for knowledge, music (Coke Studio particularly) and numbers were pretty evident in any conversation anyone had with him.”
A picture of Fazil at IIMC.
Sahil adds, “It is just very difficult to grasp what has happened. Still feels unreal. He’ll be deeply missed.”
“It is heartbreaking to address him in the past tense,” says Aastha Rathore, another IIMC classmate of Fazil’s. She adds, “Fazil was one fine boy, a well-behaved, beautifully brought up, rational human. Fazil achha tha, kaafi pyaara (Fazil was nice and lovable).”
Safarnama
After he graduated from Columbia Journalism School in August 2021, Fazil had posted a video of his year-long journey at the university. It was a video his elder brother Kashif had made for him.
Over the soulful lyrics of Safarnama, the video montage showed Fazil waving goodbye at the airport before flying out of India, him entering his new Columbia housing apartment, a picture of him outside the New York Times, him smiling in a photo clicked outside the Columbia Journalism School building, a clip from his convocation, another one where the freshly-minted graduates threw up their convocation hats, and then him smiling in his graduation gown, a proud Columbia graduate.
“Ho safarnama
Sawaalon ka safarnaama
Shuru tumse, khatam tum pe
Safarnama
Woh jise dhoonda zamaane mein
Mujhi mein tha
Woh mere saare jawaabon ka
Safarnama"
(This travelogue of questions starts and ends with you, The one I was searching for is within me…all my answers are in this travelogue)”
Fazil had captioned the video, “I think I’ve made some people kinda proud back home!”
After he graduated from Columbia Journalism School in August 2021, Fazil had posted a video of his yearlong journey at the university.
As I watched the video tonight, I couldn’t help but keep sobbing.
The video kept playing in my mind. Especially the moment at the airport, when he waved, walked his trolley ahead a few steps, and turned back to wave again. Then, he turned around and pushed away, venturing into a faraway land.
Today, it feels exactly like that.
His Instagram account name was @merefazildost. I wish we could have had more of his dosti, his friendship, for many, many more years. Yet, for all that he was, for his kindness and his warmth, for the person he was…thank you, Fazil. We shall keep you in our hearts forevermore.
(Meghnad Bose is currently a student at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. He has worked as a journalist for over eight years across digital and television news platforms.)
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