The avowedly fantastical world of Game of Thrones seems to be losing faith in its mythical beasts. At least that’s the sense S8E3 leaves you with. It’s only the ingenuity of strategicians and valour of warriors that can save the day...erm night at Winterfell.
Before you groupies begin to feel bad about the beasts, the ever dependable Indian Army makes an appearance. Don’t lose heart, dear dragons, your cousin Yeti is here, proudly ensconced in the army’s book of beliefs.
Indian Army’s Tryst with Yeti
In a now viral tweet on Monday night, when GoT was trending, Indian Army’s official twitter handle posted about “Mysterious Footprints of mythical beast 'Yeti' measuring 32x15 inches close to Makalu Base Camp on 09 April 2019”.
Booyeah! We have no reason to doubt that this announcement did not bolster morale of Khaleesi’s dragons that were seen fog-fighting earlier. They need not fear the creatures of the ice anymore.
Right after the announcement, reactions poured in. One well-meaning sanskari gentleman mildly chides the Army for being disrespectful towards the “elusive snowman”. This author supports the motion.
Yeti and Dragons Against ‘Undefeatable’ Armies
Queen Daenerys Targaryen’s dragons don’t like “the North” where they have been deployed and need to be pampered a bit. What if our hard-found Yeti takes offence to being called a beast? The single-foot trail clearly means that she can catwalk. (Also, let’s not speculate about the gender, please. Do we even know what pronoun Yetis prefer?) That's some high-street sophistication.
Sighting a Yeti’s footprints is no small deal. At a time when not one but two armies are indulging in adventurism against India, we need to show who’s the daddy here.
Surely our soldiers are already high on josh after the announcement. We need to keep our Yeti in good humour.
The Great Indian Tradition
GoT has great amount of catching up to do. Indian history has recorded instances where magic and “mythical beasts” have actually defeated some formidable armies. Mughal emperor Aurangzeb would have vouched for it. After all, his mighty campaign led by Raja Ram Singh against the Ahom was put to a brutal end at the famous Battle of Saraighat in 1671.
It was the black magic of Mayong that led to the Ahom victory. The same old trick which was employed, according to Alamgir Nama of Mirza Muhammad Kazim, against Muhammad Shah in 1332 worked here too! Shah’s entire army perished without a trace. Although Raja Ram Singh had the good sense to bring Guru Tegh Bahadur along to neutralise the Mayong magic, clearly the Sikh guru had other priorities.
Aurangzeb had learnt from a previous misadventure: the Mughal-Safavid War (1649-53). Famed fighters from both the sides believed not only in their brain and brawn, but also in talismanic shirts.
Emilie Savage-Smith, an erstwhile Oxford professor of Oriental Studies, has extensively researched these shirts that can be found preserved in many a museum and private collection. Mayong magic, however, was more potent than the talismanic shirts and the Sikh Guru’s half-hearted presence.
Additionally, do we even need a discussion on our mythological beasts? Some of our fauji units even pick their names from those. Garuda – the Super Eagle, for example. Can you even imagine Indra defeating his foes without Airavat, the spotless white elephant with ten tusks and five trunks? And what about the wondrous beastly avatars of Vishnu – Matsya, Varaha, Narasimha in different yugs?
This author, therefore, decries all attempts to deride the Indian Army for their Yeti footprints discovery.
Who Needs Modernisation When You Have Magic
Only silly superhero films believe in the power of science and things like exosuits (the kind that beloved Ironman dons) and quantum physics. Our bravehearts have always had their countless Pir babas to aid them. Dr Strange or Hulk aka Bruce Banner have slogged in laboratories to acquire their “magic,” but our defence top guys believe that shoddy battle gear will miraculously save the boys so obviously no need to invest in R&D or procurement.
And now with our Yeti, Indian Army is not to be messed around with. The dragons may underwhelm, Yeti won’t. After all, swadeshi is the best. It’s only a matter of time that “Boycott Dragon, Adopt Yeti” slogans will crowd our public discourse.
Defence budget cuts are mythical, Yeti is the new reality.
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