Emotional Abuse, the Violence Unknown

The emotinal traumas that one undergoes also counts as violence.

I met my best friend after a year and something wasn’t right. She kept saying “everything was okay” but I could see her holding back her tears, trying to force a smile. if I asked her, she would not say a word. I knew the emotional trauma that she was going through. Nothing had actually changed for her, she was still a silent sufferer in her relationship.

Violence is Not Just Physical

Violence is not just physical, and the scars that these non-physical acts of violence leave us with are beyond compare. I knew there was not a single mark anywhere on Ishani’s body, but her eyes spoke volumes about the abuse she had faced.

Emotional violence is something that most of us often neglect. There are no laws for “emotional rape”. Abusers are easily let off the hook.

Most times even the victims of emotional abuse do not know what they are going through.They live in a bubble like my friend Ishani. Her constant denial of being unhappy in her relationship is killing her from within, bit by bit, each day. The delusional utopia that she has constructed for herself has made her lose touch with reality. Emotional violence works in a very subtle manner and it is a prolonged process. It starts with falling in love and ends with the destruction of your identity.

However, there are some red flags that signal whether your relationship is on the right track or not.

You Feel It Is All Your Fault

If you find yourself feeling guilty for almost everything you do, then you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. When your partner feels bad, or when you do something that your partner does not like, and when you do something without taking your partner’s “permission”, guess what, it is not necessarily your fault.

Making Excuses For Your Partner’s Behavior

There will be times when you will know that your partner is doing wrong, but if you still find yourself making excuses for the way they behave, you are being emotionally abused.

Begging For Attention

Relationships are supposed to be caring. If you find yourself asking and begging for attention from your better half, it is evident that they are not worth it. You do not have to ask for something that you deserve.

You Dread Meeting Them

No matter how much you love them, you sometimes dread meeting them and prefer to be alone. Because you know that when you will meet them, they will give you another reason to cry.

You Think Before Talking

Any relationship works best if there is good communication and you do not have to think twice before saying something or expressing yourself. But when you find yourself thinking a million times before saying what you want to say, and then end up not even saying it, you are being emotionally abused.

You Start Changing Yourself

It is healthy to exchange views and get to know the other’s view, but when your entire perspective on how you view things, and most importantly yourself, is coloured by how your partner thinks or feels, you are near to scarring yourself for life.

Defending Them in Front of Family

Like it or not, your family will always want the best for you, and they will always try to point out the flaws of your relationship. And even though you know that what they are saying is true, you try to defend them.

Hiding Things

Honesty is the best policy, that what they say, but when you know how your partner will react, there are times that you hide things from them. So, when you start to lie or hide things, you know that your relationship is going down the drain.

These are some subtle behavior changes that most people will neglect, but it is better that you realize them before your relationship kills you alive.