One of my earliest memories of six-year-old Sreelekha is rescuing her from an abusive domestic environment.
Her mother – our cook – was roughed up and hadn’t turned up at work one winter morning. Geru, as we have nicknamed Sreelekha, was three. Her father (who was my father’s driver at the time) simply shrugged his shoulders when both Ma and me quizzed him as to why his wife was missing from work. Sreelekha had a fancy dress competition in school that day, and something told me she could be in trouble.
Almost impulsively, I went over to their DDA flat barsati in Govindpuri, accompanied by our driver and our apartment caretaker. I still remember how her mother had reluctantly opened the door, her lips and cheeks swollen. I frantically hunted for Geru. As the mother tried to cook up excuses when I said I would put her husband behind bars, suddenly from under their bed, a tiny shriek emanated.
Geru was shivering, hiding precariously under the cot.
The moment she saw me she literally jumped into my arms – whispering about how she had been praying to Sai Baba, hoping her Didimoni (which is what she calls me) would miraculously come save her.
As I carried Geru down a flight of darkened stairs, I held her close to my chest, and kept telling her never to let a man hit her.
She must never watch someone become the victim of male abuse, I told her.
I wasn’t sure Geru understood any of this, as she clung to my arms and fell quietly asleep in the car.
A Girl Gang to Fight Bullies
Just last week, Geru returned from her school and announced that she wanted to share something very important. Then, she sat Ma and me down, saying that she was now the boss of a girl’s group they had formed in class 2B of Guru Harkishen Public School, Kalkaji.
What does this girl’s group do, pray? They had joined hands against a gang of bullying boys who hit and pushed them and were mean to girls – even snatching their tiffin.
I asked her if they had tried informing the class teacher.
“When we tell Ma’am she scolds the boys – but this only angers them and they tell us they will take badla. Then they go on to harass us more,” claims Geru.
She went on to share how on one tiffin break, they were discussing an episode of Mighty Raju when they came up with the idea that they have to be ‘takatwaar,’ otherwise the bullying boys would get the better of them.
“Initially, four girls became a part of our gang. Everyone thinks boys are stronger physically. But we’d decided on our team,” she reported animatedly, clicking her tiny fingers. ‘Watch it!’ she says to the ‘badmash’ boys before the foursome stand in a line, protecting each other.
Bullying is not uncommon in schools and all of us have been the victim of shame and cruelty.
“I Tell Them, We Must Not be Scared of Boys, Ever”
“Are you scared of boys?” I probe Geru. She takes a minute to process my query, before answering,
“Didi, once I saw a movie where a girl was wearing a swimming costume and some boys were singing songs and following her. It’s the same in school. There are boys who do ‘cherkhani,’ and sing ‘ganda’ songs. The girls try to run away, or complain to their class Ma’am. But nothing changes, as tomorrow we have to face them again. I tell my gang, that we must not be scared of boys, ever. Last week, I even explained to a boy who was hitting a girl in the corridor that he was wrong. He said his father hits his mother and sister also. I said, my didi says you can call the police. No one should ever hit a woman.”
Next month, Geru will turn seven. My heart fills with girl pride. If schools in India could inculcate the same values of sexual equality and zero tolerance to sexual violence and domestic abuse – if girls as young as Geru could feel empowered and be the change, then we have good things coming.
“Every class should have a girl’s team. That is my dream. Maybe, some boys also can join in. We can all be friends. We will never have to be scared,” Geru smiles, waving a victory sign.
(The writer is an ex lifestyle editor and PR vice president, and now a full-time novelist and columnist on sexuality and gender, based in Delhi. She is the author of ‘Faraway Music’ and ‘Sita’s Curse’. Her third book ‘You’ve Got The Wrong Girl’ is out next.)
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