Actor Samantha Ruth Pabhu opened up about being ‘forced to go public’ about her autoimmune condition. Ahead of her film Yashoda’s release in 2022, the actor had revealed that she had been diagnosed with myositis.
Speaking to India Today, the actor also talked about how her ‘fear of failure’ drove her for the longest time, “14 years feels like a very long time. Sometimes, when you do things you love, 14 years fly by. I don't remember that girl - she was a scared little puppy ready to please everyone. I operated from a place of fear for a long time. My resources were limited. My fear of failure drove me for the longest time. I don't even know if I had operated from the place of love and I would be able to achieve what I did now. It changed only recently. When I got sick, I realised that the fear was motivating me, but also destroying me.”
“With life throwing this curveball at me, I thought, why me? After having gone through this ordeal for almost two years, I wouldn't have it any other way,” she added.
“I was forced to go public about my disorder. At that time, I had my female-centric film due for release. I was very sick back then. It was hard and I wasn't ready. There were all sorts of speculation going around and misinformation being spread. The producers needed me to promote it, otherwise, it (the film) would just die.”Samantha Ruth, Actor
She continued, “So, I agreed to do one interview. Obviously, I didn't look the same. I had high doses of medication to keep me stable. I was forced to. Given a choice, I wouldn't have come out and announced it.”
The actor revealed, “I was called sympathy queen by the public. My journey as an actor, as a human being, I have evolved so much. Early on in my career, I was anxious and go up (online) looking for nasty articles and what was being written about me. The more people accused me of things, I started to almost question…every thought of mine. They have forced me to become the person that I can be proud of.”
“When people are going through a lot of pain, they need a portal to project it. And social media is that portal I guess. I do really think that,” Samantha Ruth said.
Samantha Ruth was recently seen in Kaathuvaakulu Rendu Kaadhal, Yashoda, and Shaakuntalam.
The actor is now waiting for a ‘miraculous role,’ “I accepted many roles - some of them were vapid. I was on every poster. Actresses have this thought that they can't take breaks because of the short shelf-life. Even here, while I sit down today, I will hold down until I get that one project. I have taken a one-year break. There's this fear and challenge that maybe I'm out of sight, out of mind."
"Maybe I am not relevant any more. I have to beat this fear and just hold and wait for that miraculous role. I have to get past the fear of being old news. I will wait," she said.
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