My guardian angel (God’ too busy with the important stuff, so he leaves a GA to sort my stuff. I hope) has a wicked sense of humour. I’ve sensed this over many years, like when in college, for a laugh, I decided to tell my friend that I accidently dropped her cupboard keys in the pot. Except I really accidently did, about 5 minutes after the prank occurred to me. But what happened on April Fool’s Day this year takes the biscuit.
You may remember me moaning about my Cornwall holiday where after two days of bliss, Darling Husband and Cheeky Child both started projectile emitting vile liquid stuff. The loveliness of Cornwall and the view from our room was steadily eroded by pungent, sicky smells. Yours truly, blessed with Teflon coated Indian constitution survived the entire fiasco almost unscathed, thanks in part to the huge laugh I had on the third or fourth day of this ill-fated holiday.
The Prank That Backfired
It was April Fool’s Day and while the baby slept fitfully in between vomits and Darling Husband hugged the toilet to puke one more time, I called my mother. It was her birthday as well. After singing her my signature tuneless song, I said I had news, and that I was pregnant. She was so shocked, she laughed rather loudly and uncertainly while trying to digest the news. Then she laughed louder when I told her it was joke. I could hear the relief in her laughter as she gently scolded me for pulling her leg. Relief because Littloo was not one year old yet and she knew how tough babies are, especially when one has no family at walking distance to hand over the baby when one feels like chucking the baby away with the bath water.
I’d been pulling my parents’ leg for years on April Fool’s day and never been this successful! Well, it so happens, that I was actually pregnant when I shamelessly savoured my victory. Darling Husband and I have had real concerns about whether we’d survive another child, but another part of us wanted to get the babies out of the way. And we were pretty sure that hormones would be enough contraceptive – I was breastfeeding and had not had any periods since Aug 2014 (boy, do I not miss that!), so we assumed we were doubly protected. Turns out not, and we could easily run for the “most fertile couple” crown. Too much information, but I’m sure you can deal with it.
The Mother of Discoveries
Coming full circle, it was my mother, on the penultimate day of her visit who discovered my pregnancy – less than 30 seconds of palpitating my stomach and she pronounced me 14-16 weeks along. My first reaction was thank God, there’s something in that stomach and it’s not just fat, thanks to my mother’s amazing cooking. Utter shock from Darling Husband, as if he had no clue how this had come to pass.
Went for the first scan, and the technician asked me how many weeks along I was. I ventured the same 14-16 weeks answer, to which he politely laughed and told me, “Madam, you are most likely 20 weeks and 4 days along already”. Oh wow, indeed – that’s nearly half the pregnancy done, and I didn’t even get to milk the morning sickness part of the pregnancy for sympathy with my husband.
A Christmas Surprise
So the future, as they say, is already here. Come New Year and all being well, we’ll be a family of 4 – not a bad result for three years of work eh! And paid-work-wise, It was like I came back to work after a year long maternity leave, worked exactly 8 months and soon will be off again – and regardless of how my lovely employers react, the reality is harsh – will it be bye-bye career and hello self-inflicted impoverishment? Oh who knows, but I better own this roller coaster before it tramples me.
(The author is a former TV journo who stays in London. She became Mama to baby Leo in April 2015. She started this blog as an outlet for the intense, roller-coaster experience that pregnancy and motherhood entail. And for recording the journey with as much humour – black mostly – as she can cram in. Oh and dispensing free gyan as she ticks the been there, done that milestones.)
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