RainbowMan: My Country Rejected Me Because I’m Gay

Parties which supported repealing of Section 377 were just paying lip service to a “cause”, writes Harish Iyer

Many of you have probably been wondering why I haven’t spoken up ever since Shashi Tharoor’s attempt to have Sec 377 repealed was shot down by the Parliament for the second time.

Truth is… I feel dejected. I feel rejected. It is as if my country doesn’t really value me and those like me. I’d like to believe that I’m a person, not some sexual abomination. But I’m beginning to feel that my countrymen don’t want to see us homosexuals as living breathing people with real feelings.

Why do I feel this way? It is because it was the elected representatives of the people of my country who voted against my right to live a happy and fulfilling life. It makes me wonder if all those awards and invitations to speak at big-ticket events were just an eye wash. It makes me wonder if all those left of centre parties, some of whom even included repealing section 377 in their election manifesto, were just paying lip service to what they perceive to be a “colourful” cause.

The Congress left Shashi Tharoor alone to face a variety of undignified homophobic slurs being hurled at him, even as the “honourable” Madame Speaker Sumitra Mahajan giggled!

Truth be told, I’m not surprised by how the right wingers behaved. With the exception of Shaina NC, I don’t think anybody in the NDA can be expected to support gay rights.

Yes Shaina, I know you support us in whatever small or covert way you can. I know because we have participated in several television debates together including one that took place this weekend. You kept re-iterating Arun Jaitley’s stand. I want you to state clearly if your party stands by Arun Jaitley’s take on gay rights. If yes, then why didn’t your party men support us in the Parliament? Also, Shaina… please make up your mind… is India conservative or tolerant… because it cannot be both.

What kills me is how we have been fooled by the other so-called “liberal” parties. Rahul Gandhi, I have stayed away from all those idiotic Pappu jokes but do you really want to go down in history as someone who failed to cash in on unexpected political capital? I mean even if you don’t actually believe in the cause, this was your one shot to get your party to support us in the real sense and in turn project yourself as a mature, sensible and modern leader. Millions of dollars can’t buy you the kind of positive international publicity this move could have brought you. So you are either a chicken or too thick to get it. Either way… you let us down.

What? Was that below the belt? You bet it was! At least now you know what humiliation feels like… I feel it every day of my life.

I feel it when a scared gay boy calls me to say he is being blackmailed or a lesbian is being forced into marriage with a man. I feel it when a bisexual commits suicide because she is shamed and called a sex maniac. I feel it when a trans-person is denied a job because the organization claims they only have toilets for men and women.

I’m angry. I’m frustrated. I’m this close to the edge… this close to giving up. But I can’t. I can’t quit because my people are counting on me. I can’t quit because I need to be the “colourful” media whore in TV studios at prime time (hoping against hope that one day Sanjay Jha is going to say something intelligent). I know nobody is listening, especially not you Rahul Gandhi… but I’ll continue to scream from rooftops. I’ll keep talking. I’ll keep fighting. I’m not going to let my people down.

(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals.)