(This article was first published on 15 September 2020. It is being reposted from The Quint’s archives to mark the beginning of Navratri/Durga Puja.)
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It’s that time of the year in West Bengal when there’s pujo and politics in the air. And just like there’s usually a variety of pujor jama for you to choose from every season, the election season has also laid before us a variety of politicians that you can choose from to be your representative early next year.
What are the choices in the market? Take a look.
1. The Bad Ex
This kind first has a long-term relationship with their party of choice, and after what is almost always a messy break up, starts dating their worst enemy.
But of course, rebounds are always a problem so after a few months they start sending feelers to their ex party when the current one treats them badly. But wait…this is not because they miss their previous party, but just so that their present party tries to win them back with the political equivalent of chocolates and flower. That is, a high position in the party or their government, if and when it is formed.
In short, these are the kind of people my mother looks at and says, “Lokkhon bhalo lagche na.”
2. The Party Hopper
Well, these guys know to party!
Hop from one party to another, I mean.
Case in point, a BJP MLA named Tushar Kanti Bhattacharya, who recently joined the Trinamool Congress.
I mean, came back to the Trinamool Congress!
This particular gentleman was first in the Congress and won the 2016 state elections on a ticket from the party.
He then joined the Trinamool.
Then again in 2019 he joined the BJP.
Abhi of course, he is back to the starting point, kintu Dada, CPI(M) ta baad dilen keno? Baam Front er hawa tao kheye ashte parten.
3. The Disgruntled Prince
Now this kind, I genuinely feel bad for.
Once upon a time in a golden era, these people enjoyed great power in their party. But with changing times come changing faces, and well, your party leader’s nephew also becomes old enough to be next in the line of succession.
Ab we’ve heard about enough about this Rahul-Scindia-Pilot spiel to know how that turns out. These leaders, poor souls, are now neither ghar ka nor ghaat ka. But the battle is on to win your vote, so they might just be aapka.
4. The Social Media Savant
These guys are the kings of hashtags and queens of Twitter.
They have verified accounts with less than a thousand followers, content that is an exact replica of each other’s and the only fleet they know is the fleet of cars they own.
Some of them might also not know that they’re on social media, par uska tension aap mat lijiye. PK…I mean, daaber jol peekay chill kijiye!
5. The Aspiring Neta
This category can further be divided into two parts:
1) Dadas looking to be netas, and
2) Netas looking to be Dadas.
The first kind is still just testing the waters. They are not politicians yet, but they could be, and if they are, it will be bapi baari Jaa for a lot of people.
The second kind on the other hand is looking to step up, even though there’s no ladder in sight. But as they say, ambition is never a bad thing.
These people will now be vying for your vote, so even if pujo is a dampener because of COVID-19, the elections are sure to be interesting. After all, you have so many amazing choices, right?
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