(Trigger Warning: Some questions could make you feel agitated. Reader discretion is advised.)
Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.
If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers, or just someone to hear you out – write to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to email@example.com.
This week’s Q&As are below:
'I Love Wearing Women's Underwear'
I am a 28 year old man who loves wearing womens panties. I used to steal my girlfriend’s panties and my mother’s panties and dress in them.
My girlfriend knows about it now and at first she found it weird, but now it is our secret sexual game.
I wonder if this would lead to me becoming a woman? Or transgender? Or is this the first step towards becoming gay?
I have had no interest in men per se.
I have kissed a man for a play that I was acting on, but it did not create any feelings in my mind of body. I don't feel attracted to men.
I also don't feel like getting an operation done to get rid of my penis.
I love my penis.
I wonder but if my actions of wearing panties are a symptom of the gay or transgender infection?
Thank you for writing in.
Not everything that happens in our lives has to mean that we are transforming into something else.
Sometimes we can look at things the way they are and acknowledge them for just that.
Your love for wearing women’s panties, is just that - your love for wearing panties. It doesnt have to be co-related to your gender or sexuality. At best, it could be called a fetish.
Sexuality and gender are not infections. They are caused by no bacteria or virus. They have no causative factor.
Gay men don't by default love wearing panties.
All transgender women are not woman panty lovers. You could be interested in some garment or the other.
And this is regardless of gender or sexuality.
Our sexuality and gender are not a consequence of anything, they are the essence of who we are.
You are gay or transgender when you know and ascertain that you are gay or transgender.
You will not “become” one, you cannot “become” one.
P.S. wear what you love, love what you wear. :)
'Will I Lose My Ability to Produce Sperms?'
I am a 32-year-old man going through a bitter divorce.
I haven't masturbated or had sex for the past 4 years.
I think I will lose my potential to produce sperms in a few years.
And maybe if I don't have sex in the next 2 years, my body may not make sperms, so I may not become a father.
Can you please guide me?
Thank you so much for writing to me.
I am sorry to hear about your bitter divorce. Things can get sour when we exit from relationships. I wish you and your ex the best of health and a fruitful independent life post this marriage.
There are thousands of sperms that are produced by the testicles. If one would not masturbate, the sperms will find a way to come out - assisted by erotic dreams that lead to nocturnal emissions of sperm.
So if you are healthy and producing sperms regularly, you are in a young age and there is time for andropause.
However, do not take my advice or any other online advice seriously. Visit a doctor who specialises in fertility, and get them to check the motility of your sperms.
Give yourself some time away from your worries. Concentrate on your emotional health too.
Give yourself some time to rejuvenate and bounce back from the stress of divorce.
P.S. please visit a specialist
'Asymmetrical Breasts in Men - Possible?'
I am a 43-year-old woman.
My husband is 45 and he has male breasts that are asymmetrical. Could this be possible? Is this some disease?
Thank you for writing in.
Yes, breasts could be asymmetrical in men, women and all genders.
You should however urge your husband to visit a doctor for a physical examination and further advice.