Spokesman: “There’s no shortage of vaccines in India. See this tweet (waving his swank iPhone). This hospital is asking for people to come as only half its vaccine capacity is being utilised. THERE’S NO VACCINE SHORTAGE.”

News Anchor (trying to reason with him) : “You should not generalise on an isolated example. The fact is that we are producing 20 lakh vaccines a day but inoculating nearly 30 lakh people. So, there is bound to be a shortage.”

Spokesman: “30 lakh people every day! You should be proud of what our government has achieved. It’s the second highest daily number in the world. In fact, we’re the fastest to hit the 1 crore or 10 million milestone — faster than the mighty Americans, faster than Great Britain, faster than Europe.”

News Anchor: “That, sir, is a misplaced boast. Why, just today, our vaccination rate has fallen by over 50 percent, from 26 lakh to 12 lakh per day. And in any case, absolute numbers are misleading. Compared to America and Great Britain, we’ve barely vaccinated 10 percent of our population, while those countries have nearly crossed 50 percent...”

Spokesman (cutting him short in trademark style): “Do you know that we have over 1 billion people in this country? Do you know how challenging it is for the government to cover such a large population? You people are just negative about everything. Instead of having pride in your country, you are forever criticising … it’s so unfortunate that even in the middle of such a grave crisis, you refuse to be patriotic.”

Dear PM Modi, Lord VISHNU Can Rescue India’s Vaccination Campaign

ADVERTISEMENTREMOVE AD

Members Only

If Only India’s COVID Vaccination Was As Sharp As Our ‘Vitriol’

Whatever India may be wrestling—a pandemic or a moon landing—the vitriol stays 100% efficacious.

Raghav Bahl

Updated: 19 Apr 2021, 5:53 PM IST

Opinion

Small

Medium

Large

I marvel at the clinical efficiency of the lab which creates the ruling party’s spokesmen. The vitriol synthesised there is remarkably consistent. Whatever India may be wrestling with – the tragedy of a killer pandemic or the triumph of a moon landing – the vitriol stays 100 percent efficacious. How I wish that lab was producing a COVID-19 vaccine instead of poisonous vitriol. Remember, no vaccine has yet to hit 100 percent efficacy, so this would give the lab something to really crow about.

Being ‘Patriotic’ About Vaccine Shortage

Read Latest News and Breaking News at The Quint, browse for more from opinion

Topics: Modi Government Union health ministry Indian Government

Published: 19 Apr 2021, 5:13 PM IST