Your Big Dick Energy is Up Against ‘Language Condoms’
BDE, anyone? 
BDE, anyone? (Photo: The Quint/Arnica Kala)

Your Big Dick Energy is Up Against ‘Language Condoms’

TL;DR: You don’t always need a condom.

“Stop using ‘like,’ ‘like’ is a language condom,” remarks an indignant Ethan Hawke, who plays a professor, in the 2015 movie Maggie’s Plan.

What was he trying to say? Um, let’s say a ‘language condom’ is a word that denies language its true pleasure and all that. You know, acting as a sheath that, in this case, does more harm than good?

(GIF: Giphy) 

In my unremarkable opinion, words work like fabric-softener. There are always so many to choose from. Each one tries to soften a blow, a non-verbal cue, right? Chiefly, smoothening language for us. The smoother we talk, the better. And we love having it easy with words, sentences, and phrases.

We’re, unwittingly, language squanderers with very little time in hand, rushing through quick conversations that only lead to quicker ones.

Of course, Hawke’s world, a part of Manhattan academia, is one where a “language condom” is, later, rephrased as a “language prophylactic” and a line like, “Nobody unpacks commodity fetishism like you do” counts as a pickup line!

There’s plenty to be amused by, but there’s some food for thought there.

Ethan Hawke and Greta Gerwig in ‘Maggie’s Plan’.
Ethan Hawke and Greta Gerwig in ‘Maggie’s Plan’.
(Photo Courtesy: Facebook/Maggie’s Plan) 
I can’t possibly keep count of the number of times I pepper sentences with ‘like’. It is like, not even funny. There’s something extremely comforting about words such as these. And why not? They are the lowest hanging-fruits.
(GIF: Giphy) 

Think about it.

They are easy, within reach and always there, ready to conflate sentiments, ideas and feelings into a handful of words.

(GIF: Giphy) 

Here are some that top my list:

1) Like

2) Cool

3) Cute

4) Awesome

5) Literally

These are like, literally the only words I end up using every time I am describing something cool or cute. Awesome, isn’t it?

(P.S: See what happened there? It was involuntary, I promise!)

(GIF: Giphy) 

Anyway, this time around, the internet’s come up with a “language condom” that, ironically, sticks to the literal aspects in terms of the coinage: Big Dick Energy (or BDE).

Big D**k Energy, Really?

What is it?

Confidence without cockiness. it is never misplaced and it cannot be simulated. it is the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10k knowing you got it in the bank account. The phrase originates from the since-deleted tweet by singer Ariana Grande, mentioning that her fiancé Pete Davidson has a 10-inch long penis.’’

The tweet led to a Twitter user remarking, “Pete Davidson is 6’3 with dark circles, exudes big dick energy, looks evil, but apparently is an angel, and loves his girl publicly.”
(GIF: Giphy) 

Did I mention? You don’t need to have a d**k to possess BDE, according to mass Tweetensus (a mass consensus on Twitter). Anyone/anything can have it, provided they/it share(s) the BDE vibe.

Think of...

Beyonce

Cate Blanchett

Kalki Koechlin

Swara Bhasker

Towering, strong, fearless women who make it look quite easy, don’t they? Lighter than ego, heavier than self-assurance, these women are all au-naturel
Beyonce, the queen of BDE? 
Beyonce, the queen of BDE? 
(GIF: Giphy) 

Like other unsolved mysteries on the internet, ‘BDE’ too clung to its stardom like a moth to a flame. It picked up faster than Dancing Uncle did, and there is no going back.

I have been wondering if the internet has coined something fresh and novel this time, given the brouhaha over it. Is there a possibility that BDE, is like, a ‘like’? I tried replacing ‘BDE’ with other phrases, keeping in mind the meaning it tries to convey:

An effortless charm,

A lucidity that is indescribable,

An agreeability that makes you stand out,

A flamboyance that seems inherent and not learnt,

An ingenuity that makes you attractive,

An unassertiveness that asserts itself without trying too hard...

And a scrappy charm, much like a fabric softener’s, that lends itself to a treasure-trove of adjectives that can be used to describe it.

Isn’t it ironical that a quality that can be described with much more raw intensity than the way we’re doing it now (BDE) is one that ends up with a name that refers to the male junk, and then, deprives it of all pleasure by serving as a ‘language condom’?

Think about it.

Bottom Line: Is it BDE? Is it a stereotype? It is... plain humility!

(The above is a part of TLDR (Too Long. Didn't Read), a weekly blog that aims to crunch things down for you. I will give you the long and short of most things that need to be taken extremely seriously like your bookshelf, beer, existential dread, aimless conversations, rainy days and bubble-wrap. I promise to cater to all readers, but I brazenly harbour a soft-spot for skimmers, bathroom-readers and infinite scrollers. Now, let's bring the written word back!

P.S: Follow me @medhac1)

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