Editor: Deepthi Ramdas
Camera: Abhishek Ranjan; Sumit Badola; Abhay Sharma
Bhavishya. Future. We all want to know what it looks like. After all, it’s one of our deepest psychological needs — to be reassured that apna time aayega. Nay — even better —be told when it will come. Trust me, I know. As a family, we have seen some pretty tough times. And everytime we were going through a major-sh*t-hit-the-fan-kinda- crisis, my mother would go to different pandits and ask, “when will our troubles go?” Funnily enough, everyone gave a different date!
But in exchange for a mere Rs.200, my mother was being sold something far greater — hope — which is priceless to anyone going through sh*t.
It is this heady cocktail of hope and faith, that makes us, as a nation spend approximately $10 billion or Rs. 70,000 crores per year on astrology, as noted by journalist-author Ravi Agarwal in India Connected.
Even though technology has rendered many industries useless, the future of astrology has always been secure. Rough estimates say there are about 20 lakh astrologers in India while on Google Playstore, you can find more than 200 apps dedicated to astrology alone! And who are we kidding? Astrology is one obsession that we millennials have in common with the older generation. Even I secretly subscribe to Insta pages that give me a one line horoscope for my Aries sunsign!
You see, I worry a lot about the future. And at 28 going on 29, my mother too has started worrying about my future. About my shaadi, mostly.
And so, I set out on a journey to know my future, from not one, but five different fortune tellers! And here’s what I learnt.
1. Tarot
My first ever tarot reading was mystical, to say the least. I was excited as well as nervous, but the tarot reader had a very calming presence. She rightly noted how sometimes I battle self-doubt, correctly surmised how last year was a mixed bag for me, and even noted the points of friction at my workplace very accurately.
But the best part? She told me I will be getting married in a few months!
Just one catch though. That the tarot cards I picked were apparently influenced by my energy. But what if my energy was corrupted and made me pick the wrong cards? Minutes before leaving for the shoot, I had to battle a biggish crisis at work that had made me furious. So would the energy have been different had I gone with a calm mind? Isn’t energy an arbitrary concept? And is our future as arbitrary as the energy we possess at that very moment we are picking a tarot card? These are questions that I am still not sure about.
2. Coffee Cup Reading
Imagine sipping a Turkish coffee and getting to know your stars at the same time. This was literally my ‘star’ bucks moment. But the reading told me that I wouldn’t be getting married before the next two-or-two-and-a-half-years which was directly contradicting my first reading. So, did that leave me more confused about the future? Yes. But at least, was the coffee good? Hell, yes!
3. Kundli Reading
Who doesn’t like to know they will meet the love of their lives in a few months? But the bummer was that I was told I am something called manglik, which means that I am only allowed to marry a manglik guy. Upon googling the term further I was told by Pandit Google that not heeding the advice means my partner just might die!
But just as I was editing the video, a ‘manglik’ colleague told me that despite the pandits scaring her that her marriage to a non-manglik would quickly result in the death of one of them, her husband and she are still very much alive! Mars be damned.
4. Face Reader
Kitaabein bahut si padhi hongi tumne, magar koi chehra bhi tumne padha hai? Well, this was literally true here as I went to a face reader who BTW, told me I would be world famous in a few years! He also told me that I would *definitely* get married this year. But my rational mind got me questioning how my ‘false’ eyelashes could correctly predict my future!
5. Palmist
Sadly, my trip to the palmist shattered all my dreams of living a feminist life. It said I will only get rich courtesy a man! And although he broke my mother’s heart by telling me I will get married at 32 (my mom’s deadline is 30) he did make me feel slightly better by telling me that I share my tenacity with some pretty strong women.
But you know what? If there’s anything I have learnt from these flattering, and at times, even heartbreaking fortune readings, it’s this — that as lucky as I am to have five different futures — I am not willing to bank on even one of them!
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