The Many Problems With Utsav’s ‘Apology’ for His Sexual Misconduct

Comedian Utsav Chakraborty responded to the allegations of sexual misconduct levelled against him by multiple women by posting a thread of 26 tweets.Unfortunately, though, instead of issuing an unconditional apology, Chakraborty resorted to flimsy explanations and excuses for his wrongdoings. For example, one particular defence put forth was that the unsolicited d**k pics he sent women were not actually pics of his own d**k, but pictures he had downloaded from the internet.Here is exactly what he said, and a tweet-by-tweet explanation of all our problems with his response.Utsav’s Tweet #1Utsav’s Tweet #2“To be honest, from all accounts, I've been a piece of sh*t. And I will try to do everything I can work past that. There was no excuse. I know inconsiderate and entitled. Even in this narrative, when this whole thing started, I kept looking at myself as the victim.”Utsav’s Tweet #3“I would think that the world has shortchanged me. But my intentions were not to do that, I would think. I was just asking people out and being upfront in my head. But unfortunately it was all in my head. Not to the person it was happening to. To her it was real.”The Problem With ThatFirstly, what happened is in no way a case of the world shortchanging you, Utsav. You seem to keep forgetting – you are not the victim.Secondly, being upfront in your head does not make sending unsolicited d**k pics okay.And thirdly, it wasn’t all in your head. What you did was as real for you as it was for the women you did it to. Except that what was a cheap thrill for you, was traumatic for them.Utsav’s Tweet #4“I tried to talk to Mahima (@agirlofherwords) & sort it out way back in 2016. She would have none of it and why would she? She has never known me in real life, and even if she did - how is that for a respite? Even if my intention wasn't to make her feel sh*tty the truth is, I did.”Utsav’s Tweet #5“And yes I did grovel. Tell her my career would be over before it began. That I have medical issues that I have to deal with for life. And those are expensive issues. But to use my illness as a crutch is stupid. But it's not like it's not relevant to this whole debacle.”The Problem With ThatYou realise that you are contradicting yourself, right?“But to use my illness as a crutch is stupid.” You’re right.“But it’s not like it’s not relevant to this whole debacle.” You’re wrong.Your illness is NOT and cannot be an excuse for your sexual misconduct. Regardless of whether or not your illness is an “expensive issue”, it is irrelevant to this whole debacle.Aditi Mittal, Kaneez Surka, AIB Condemn Utsav ChakrabortyUtsav’s Tweet #6“But again, that's what every supervillain says to justify their villainry. That oh, look at my tragic back story. Look at my many problems. I'm fully aware I'm doing that right now. But I have to explain my irresponsible behaviour somehow. At least to my self.”The Problem With ThatYou attempts to explain your behaviour should not come at the cost of you trying to provide justifications/excuses for what you did. Even to yourself. What you did was wrong – and you should look to understand and accept that, and apologise unconditionally instead of trying to explain it away.Utsav’s Tweet #7“To me, getting nudes from a person was an instant rush. I was not in pain for that brief moment. Someone trusted me with that information. I would feel honoured and not ugly. But this caught me into a weird spiral. Where I would ask anyone who was nice to me in the slightest.”Utsav’s Tweet #8“In my head it was just plain sexting. Because I had made up this egalitarian society where women constantly don't get harassed every waking moment of the day. And I would look at myself and say but I'm so woke. I'm not like *those* guys.”Utsav’s Tweet #9“How can I be a misogynist when I call it out constantly? Even if I was entitled I would think that life has been unfair to me, it gave me a disease without a cure. And I wouldn't give it a second thought. I would go from one painkiller haze to another and keep messaging.”The Problem With ThatYou have mentioned your illness four times in your first eight tweets. But here’s the thing once again, Utsav. Repeatedly mentioning it does not make it relevant to a conversation about your sexual misconduct.‘We Messed Up, We Are Sorry’: AIB’s Fresh Statement on UtsavUtsav’s Tweet #10“I could say I was not in control and doing it to chase a kick but IT DOESN'T ABSOLVE ME. I know that. But I was angry at the world, literally fought with every authority figure in my life, burned bridges and stopped getting shows. I was the disease that I was fighting.”The Problem With ThatYour motive for your misconduct (chasing a kick or otherwise) really does not concern the women you sexually harassed. And you’d stop bringing it up if you actually understood that.Being angry at the world, fighting with every authority figure in your life, burning bridges and not getting shows are four examples of situations people face in their personal and professional lives. You know how many of them are legitimate causes for sexual misconduct? Zero.Multiple Women Allege Sexual Misconduct by Comic Utsav ChakrabortyUtsav’s Tweet #11“And now some more context. This account you see right now was called @satanbhagat when it started. It was a Chetan Bhagat parody account made way back in 2010. It was made so I could make fun of Bollywood and of course, Chetan Bhagat. This was before Twitter was political.”Utsav’s Tweet #12“The whole objective of the account was to trash whatever I thought was status quo. So that meant Bollywood, the ruling government, bigots with bad grammar and people who plagiarised tweets. And this took up a lot of my time. I would shame people off Twitter.”Utsav’s Tweet #13“Not realising that they were human beings with thoughts and feelings. Human beings who would nurse a grudge for an eternity for my public online bully behaviour. I didn't consider any of that would come back to haunt me eight years from then.”Utsav’s Tweet #14“I have deleted my old tweets since but people who were there in the beginning of this site can probably vouch. I was an asshole and proud of it. Because all my online fights would rake in followers. That was also a kick. The online validation that I could've done without.”Utsav’s Tweet #15“So in this warpath that no one asked for, I had made enemies out of many men AND women. They hated me with all their guts. And as thing is unfolding, some of the people who have come out saying I was untoward are also people I used to make fun of back in the day.”The Problem With ThatFirst of all, your being mean to people on Twitter eight years back is not what we are expressing concern about today. Our concern is specifically related to the allegations of sexual misconduct levelled against you by several women over the course of the past 24 hours.By saying that “some of the people who have come out saying I was untoward are also people I used to make fun of back in the day”, if you mean that at least some of the people who are alleging sexual misconduct by you have done so FALSELY, then you should really specify who it is that you accuse of lying or maliciously conspiring against you.Utsav’s Tweet #16“And as for asking for nudes from underaged people, I cannot and will not ever do that. The person in question can pull up screenshots and I would be proved forthright. But again, it doesn't mean I wasn't an entitled piece of sh*t who asked out everyone in his know.”Utsav’s Tweet #17“And Snapchat was the worst thing to happen to me in this stage in my life. Some nice people did send me nudes there and I started assuming that everyone was that forthcoming and open to sexting. That was the worst thought that I could have had. But I did.”The Problem With ThatPardon me right now for having trouble believing your apparent naivety. Saying that “some nice people” sending you nudes made you start “assuming that everyone was that forthcoming and open to sexting” is like saying “I had sex with Woman A, so I thought that every woman would be as forthcoming and open to having sex with me”. If the latter does not seem sensible to you, neither should the former.Utsav’s Tweet #18“And adding to my acute attention deficit mind was also the temporary nature of messaging in Snapchat. I would flirt with a person and then I would forget who I was flirting with. Then I would flirt with someone else thinking they were the first person.”Utsav’s Tweet #19“And that is where the lines of consent & information blurred. I was in too deep and too proud to admit that I was confused. Confused people don't get laid, I would think. I had to play it cool.”Utsav’s Tweet #20“There were instances where I would have a long and intimate conversation with one person and then continue the same conversation with a whole different human being. I wouldn't realise till the other person pointed out.”The Problem With ThatNo, Utsav. It possibly could not have been mere confusion. It was repeatedly pointed out to you, by multiple men and women, that what you were doing was not okay. In this thread itself, you acknowledged pleading one such woman to not take the matter further as it could potentially ruin your career.If you were repeatedly hauled up for your sexual misconduct and yet you chose to not mend your ways, then that simply cannot be passed off as mere confusion, regardless of how temporary the nature of messaging on Snapchat is.Utsav’s Tweet #21“Anyone who knows me in person knows that I'm not fully 'there' as a person. I forget things. Important things. I keep losing things that are essential for my survival even. And I can't explain this enough. But I have been an entitled a**hole and people have been hurt.”Utsav’s Tweet #22“I don't know how to deal with this but I'm confused and scared. And I've always been uncertain about my future but this is next level. Please know that it was literally the opposite of my intention to make ANYONE uncomfortable. Including of course @AGirlOfHerWords.”Utsav’s Tweet #23“As for 'sending' unsolicited pictures of *my* genitals, I don't think I've ever done that. I would only send if that person asked for the said picture. And even then I would make sure that said person has sent me something of equal parity first.”Utsav’s Tweet #24“If not, I would go to r/penispics and find the closest approximation on Imgur. Even when i was talking to @AGirlOfHerWords I genuinely thought we were sexting. Till it was too late. A simple reverse Google image search would change this narrative.”The Problem With ThatYou make a difference between pictures of your genitals and pictures of male genitals that you download off the internet to make the point that you don’t think you have ever sent unsolicited pictures of your genitals.What you fail to realise is this – it does NOT matter whether the d**k whose picture you sent is yours or someone else’s, what matters is that it was unsolicited. Sending an unsolicited picture of anyone’s genitals is inappropriate.Utsav’s Tweet #25“Again it doesn't absolve me of my constant terrible judgement. But there is more to what is being said. And this all too much for me to process. Till this day, my biggest concern was figuring out how to pay for my weekly injections.”The Problem With ThatAgain, even while saying that your judgment has been terrible, you add the caveat “but there is more to what is being said” in the same breath, as if there is some defence of your actions that is waiting to come out, but that you haven’t used in your aid yet.Utsav’s Tweet #26“But now I know I have been the exact monster I've been trying to fight all my life. And I would like to do everything I can to make this better for everyone who has been hurt. Everything short of killing myself. And trust me, that has crossed my mind so often today.”Our Advice to You, UtsavPlease, please do not consider killing yourself. Nobody would want you to do that.This is not an article that attempts to humiliate you or insult you. It is an honest conversation about the many problems with your response.Through the course of your 26 tweets, there is not a single apology to the women you have wronged. Every acknowledgement of wrongdoing is laced with multiple caveats.Instead of putting forth these half-excuses and half-acceptances of your faults, you would do well to issue an unconditional apology to every woman you have sexually harassed. To do so, you’d have to realise the full magnitude of your errors first. We hope that this helps you do that.We await a real apology.

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The Many Problems With Utsav’s ‘Apology’ for His Sexual Misconduct

Instead of issuing an unconditional apology, Chakraborty offered flimsy explanations and excuses for his misconduct.

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Topics: Comedy Sexual Harassment Online harassment