I sometimes marvel at how the media culture works. It’s both daunting and disconcerting at the same time. But in some cases, it’s downright strange. By this, I mean how the media covers celebrity weddings.
Most of these lavish Bollywood weddings are the stuff of dreams, but we merely get a peek into their wedding ceremonies. But does that stop the media from sensationalising the most innocuous of details? Nope.
The big reveals are mostly speculative as the media turns into Sherlock Holmes for a day or two. Here’s a list of bizarre media behaviour during their coverage of big, fat Bollywood weddings:
Asking the million dollar question: Shaadi kab hai?
When a couple has been out and about for more than a year, the rumour mill is already spinning stories about their exotic wedding — foreign locations, Sabyasachi lehengas, and whatnot. Every interview, outing, gathering, and event — the nation wants to know: kab hai shaadi?
And unfortunately, this is exactly how Indian relatives behave at every family gathering. One thing is for certain — the media do not need to play Seema Aunty — this is not a Netflix original — and one Seema Aunty is more than enough for this world.
All the 'Exclusives' we will ever need
News sirf teen cheezon see chalti hai, 'Exclusives, Exclusives Exclusives' — from the bridal lehenga (in which you only see the hanger and the cover) to random photos of fairy lights on the tenth floor taken from ground zero — the paps are chasing these 'exclusives' with all their might. Meanwhile, they are also parked right outside their house, giving us the latest scoop, even if it isn't exactly scoop-worthy.
Matlab, kuch bhi ho raha hai.
Who is this insider source?
The media don't know when the wedding is, but does that stop them from churning out a gazillion stories every other day claiming that an illusive 'source' has ‘revealed’ some mysterious new information regarding the wedding? Nope.
The source is never revealed, but they reveal all the details. They seem like the Greek oracle, an obscure force who knows it all, but we don't know them.
What’s the location?
As you can imagine, dates can only take you so far if you don’t know the venue. There was so much talk in the media about Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor’s exotic wedding venue in Italy. So much so that I was convinced they couldn’t possibly hold it anywhere else.
And, in the end, where did they hold their intimate wedding ceremony? At their Mumbai home — on the balcony.
That must have been whiplash for everyone involved.
Zoomed-in shots of a whole lot of nothing
In the recent coverage of Ahtiya Shetty and KL Rahul’s wedding, I got a peek into their mehendi night. It was breathtaking (not). I saw a house, some lights, trees — everything mother nature has to offer except, let’s say, the couple themselves. The videos were inconclusive, and I felt robbed of the seven seconds I could have spent doing anything else.
Check out the video here:
When all is said and done, I don't get the excitement. Are we invited? No. Will we get any real updates? No! Celebs flood our social media with photos from all their functions later anyway, so my advice is to stay glued to your phone.
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