Mahua Moitra on Her Wedding: 'To Conform to Others' Idea is to Stop Living'

Did you see her kick her heels and sway to the very romantic song, 'Raat ke humsafar…Thak ke ghar ko chale… Jhoomti aa rahi hai subah pyaar ki?' Did you watch it multiple times because the wedding celebration video of Mahua Moitra, 50, and Pinaki Misra, 65, spoke of how boundaries can be redrawn; because it came as a sweet reminder of why you don’t have to conform? Or, because it just brought a smile to your face?The lilting melody from An Evening in Paris, played out at a quiet celebration in Germany, where Mahua and Pinaki, the political duo, decided to journey through life as partners. The ceremony was private. It included a few friends and family members. The announcement, through the video, and a photograph of the couple cutting a cake was posted on X by Mahua with a one liner that read, "Thank you everyone for the love and good wishes!! So grateful."I can’t claim to know Mahua and we are not friends; not even acquaintances, in fact. We have common friends and have spoken twice, as journalist and politician.Mahua is unmissable, even for those who don’t really know her. She lives life on her own terms and is unhindered and unfettered.She’s not the quintessential woman – or woman politician – even though she was one of the 78 women MPs in the 17th Lok Sabha, which stood out for having elected the maximum number of women MPs. She was expelled for what came to be known as the ‘cash for query’ brouhaha six months before the country went into the 2024 general election—and she came right back into the 18th Lok Sabha as the Trinamool Congress’ (TMC) from West Bengal’s Krishnanagar constituency.Mahua Moitra Lok Sabha Expulsion: Why the BJP Gains Nothing From the MoveMahua, I’ve learnt, is as feisty and unputdownable as her leader and West Bengal Chief Minister, Mamata Banerjee. Quite unlike Mamata, however, who has perfected the crumpled saree look as a deliberate part of her image makeover – and I said as much in a piece I wrote for The Times of India – Mahua makes no bones about the fact that she likes the touch of a Hermès scarf and the shine of a Louis Vuitton bag. No judgement here: the decision is personal and both are free to choose their styles.Neither seeks validation; neither bothers about fitting stereotypical typecasts that society so loves to try and bind them into.I choose to use their first names because it is so much about them being the feminists that they are. They define themselves by their personalities; not their family names and neither politician is a privileged dynast.The two have another thing in common. Both have a penchant for controversies. This piece is not about doling out a certificate of courage to Mahua. It is an acknowledgement of the fact – even though she doesn’t seek it – that she has the rare ability to own up to her choices and freedoms. The fact that she embraces them publicly – and is unafraid to – is what differentiates her from her many political colleagues.A few days after I saw the video and the inescapable freedoms that it portrayed, I reached out and congratulated her through a WhatsApp message. She replied almost immediately and I decided to push my luck further. Can I call, I asked, telling her I wanted to write a column in which her voice resonates, and she replied saying, “Am abroad.”I sent her a set of three questions: What did her heart tell her? You’re not a conformist, so are marriages better than just togetherness?And did you pause even for a second before making it public, only because you’re in politics?I should have expected the reply she sent. “I’m not entertaining this. Please excuse me,” she said. My questions, I must admit, presupposed her persona. I presumed that women in politics would hesitate to make their personal lives public. Mahua Moitra, I should’ve known – we all need to know – is not afraid of owning her choices. Importantly, by sharing her personal life, she was actually not ‘conforming’ to what many in India expect even from liberal women.I’d erred in my choice of questions and wrote to her again, saying, “You’re excused...” I asked, instead, for her to share a few lines on how she ensures her autonomy and chooses her freedoms.She finally did, after a few hours and spoke (wrote, in this case) like you’d expect Mahua to, clearly, assertively, and boldly.“Personal choices are just that – personal. We must have the strength to make them, the strength to see them through, and the strength to live with the consequences.”Mahua MoitraShe sure lives up to expectations and has, in the past, also owned up to “terrible’’ choices. When she was in the thick of a political storm – the former investment banker who gave up her job in the US to join the TMC - – she gave as good as she got. After being summoned by the Ethics Committee of Parliament, for sharing her parliamentary log in details with Darshan Hiranandani, a business tycoon based out of Dubai, she stayed unfazed and unrelenting in her criticism of the apparent proximity between the Narendra Modi government and industrialist Gautam Adani.It was in the midst of that political storm in 2023 that I’d first spoken to her. She wasn’t being spared ugly, intimate details of her personal life, even then. A “jilted ex” (her words) had provided documents on which the complaint at the Ethics committee was being scrutinised. I asked her about Jai Anant Dehadrai, her former partner (the jilted ex) and she shot back saying, “Yes, I was in a relationship with him. What crime have I committed? I don’t give a shit. Delhi is just a shallow place. I live a life, not a lie.”What makes you tick, I’d asked her then. “I’m true to myself. If I believe in something, then that’s it, I’ll stick to it,” she had said. To another question on whether she was afraid of taking on the BJP and the government, she simply said:“I’ll not stop being who I am. I’ve become a poster girl for the Left and the Right, but I’m a grassroots person. I gave up my job to join politics. I will not bend or be afraid.”She referred to the ‘cash for query’ phrase as being defamatory, demanding that she be shown the cash.“Where is the money? I used Darshan Hiranandani’s stenographers to help me post the questions. The portal to post questions is not a nuclear secret and I have not compromised national security. Give me a break. It is only a site where you post questions. Hiranandani is an Indian citizen. Why did the Ethics committee not summon him?”At the time, the BJP had also leaked cropped photographs of Mahua holding a cigar, as if that were some big crime. Her ‘crime’ – and I use the word deliberately -- is that she disturbs the worldview of conformists and upsets a society still shackled by patriarchy.She’s someone who likes to wage battles; you can be sure of that. She definitely enjoys good fights and embraces the tough and ugly ones too. Even while in Germany, where she went to get married, she found time to tweet about COVID-19 deaths, the Kumbh stampede, and the Air India crash at Ahmedabad.Mahua Moitra and Saayoni Ghosh Were Not Asleep During Parliament Session!Mahua’s personal life is also public. That is who she is. For those in doubt, read another part of the reply she sent me, and I quote, “To give up fundamental freedom in order to conform to some idea, set by others, of what we should be is to stop living.” Mahua Moitra learnt to live it her way a while ago. Germany is but another step in that journey.Postscript: For those wondering why I’ve not focused on Pinaki Misra, a senior Supreme Court lawyer and BJD politician with a standing, this really is about Mahua. What she said in 2023, bears repetition. She lives a life, not a lie.

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Mahua Moitra on Her Wedding: 'To Conform to Others' Idea is to Stop Living'

Mahua is unmissable, even if you don't know her. For her, personal has always been public, writes Harinder Baweja.

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Topics: Mamata Banerjee Trinamool Congress Mahua Moitra