8 (Fun) Things About DU That Admission Brochures Won’t Tell You

To first timers: You don’t need clichéd tips and life hacks, you just need to keep these pearls of wisdom in mind.

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Students in Hansraj College, Delhi University. (Photo: iStockPhoto)

Get ready for some madness, for the word fucchas will make an appearance in the Delhi University dictionary again.

Yes, it’s admission time.

If you thought scoring a minimum of 100% to make the cut (what, don’t roll your eyes), queues in front of colleges, ECAs and admission schedules were the be all and end all, here’s a (humble) reminder to tell you that there is more to admissions than that.

You don’t need the cliched tips and life hacks, my friend, what you need to know is what we’re going to tell you.

Grades Don’t Matter, Attendance Does

This isn’t one of those attempts to dissuade you from studying or to pull a smart one and tell you that marks don’t matter.

Marks matter. Hell yes they do. Unless, of course, you are too much of a badass to bother about the disapproving glances your professors will give you for not doing well.

But the golden rule for college: Proxy or not, attendance matters.

Maggi Equals Food

If your mother has indoctrinated you into believing that Maggi does not qualify as a legitimate meal, college is where you unlearn this piece of maternal gyaan.

For all the outstation students, entering a new city – breakfast, lunch or dinner, Maggi is always the winner.

Breakfast, lunch or dinner, maggi is always the winner. (Photo: iStockPhoto)
Breakfast, lunch or dinner, maggi is always the winner. (Photo: iStockPhoto)

It’s the life hack you need when you are stranded in college till evening, listening to a lecture you don’t want to.

Oh, and that time when Maggi was banned? Hell hath no fury like a student scorned (when Maggi ain’t around).

That One Shady Sutta Point

You will learn a lot about yourself and your ‘adulting’ capabilities in college. One of them being your drinking capacity.

The second thing will be that dilapidated little block near/outside/across your college where you will find (lots of) cigarettes and chai.

The deepest, most profound conversation happens at these points. This is also the place where you will get the best maal (not women, you sexist fool!).

For anybody who is scandalised reading this, let’s talk in a year. You will be more than comfortable with the chaai pe charchas over a pack of sutta, by then.

College Lingo

If you ever reach your class and find yourself dumbfounded by the jargon, or if you still find yourself frantically Googling words, here’s what you should know.

From shortening names of popular hangout places to creating cuss words that you would have never heard in school, college lingo is literally our mother tongue.

The Pinjra Tod movement in Delhi University. (Photo: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pinjratod/">Pinjra Tod’s official Facebook page</a>.)
The Pinjra Tod movement in Delhi University. (Photo: Pinjra Tod’s official Facebook page.)

Protests, Elections, Societies and Fests

These four words will define the ‘happening’ in the oh-college-is-so-amazing-and-happening sentiment.

From orientation of cultural societies to campaigning during elections, from the loud marches of dissent to that time of the year when college erupts into a three-day cultural festival, embrace and enjoy each moment.

The Dirty ‘M’ and ‘F’ Words

The context of this is not (M)aal, and (F)ree maal.

It’s two provocative words – Marxism and Feminism.

While these two words have been dreaded, abused and vehemently bastardised, you will be greeted with several connotations, liminal meanings and subtext of these theories in class quite often.

Oh also, don’t shy away from talking about them or using them in your conversations. Being politically discerning and critically sound will take you far, not make you ‘uncool.’

Bachelors in Saving Money

Apart from all the degrees you will get (if you’re in DU, don’t expect it till 3 years after graduating), you will also graduate in the art of frugality.

Yaar, paise ni hain, yaar” will be your favourite dialogue and the day your folks send you money from home, your favourite day.

Bhaai Kitna Pada?

Exhaustive studies have proven that 0.000685% students prepare for exams 1-3 weeks in advance.

The rest, well, they depend on the the night before.

And for all the kunjis, xerox notes, previous year questions papers and tutorial notes that you will manage to gather at the last moment, it’s safe to say you will sail the boat comfortably.

One can go on rambling about dilli university, but for now, it’s safe to say that you will manage with these.

With love,
A seasoned Delhi University graduate.

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