'Our Lives Too Ended That Day': For Widows of Delhi Riots, the Scars Run Deep

Over 25 women were widowed in February 2020 when communal violence in Northeast Delhi left 53 people dead.

"Tum bacche ke baare mein fikar mat karna, Nargis. Main hamesha tumhare saath rahuga, aur tera khayal rakhunga. Aaj mahaul sahi lag raha hai, toh main kaam pe jaake, shaam ko wapas aa jaunga. Phir hum baat karenge. I love you... (Don't worry about our unborn child, Nargis. I am always by your side and will take care of you. The situation looks better today, so I will go to work and be back in the evening. Let's talk then. I love you.)"

It was a chilly winter morning on 25 February 2020. Just 20 days ago, 32-year-old Mursaleen, a scrap dealer in New Delhi's Mustafabad, found out that his 27-year-old wife Nargis was pregnant with their fourth child.

The couple, though ecstatic, was concerned about Nargis' health and how they would be able to manage to raise four children on their income. Assuring Nargis that all will be well, Mursaleen left for work at 10 am that day – but he never returned.

Nineteen days later, Nargis found Mursaleen's decomposed body, with bullet wounds and swollen eyes, at the mortuary of Guru Teg Bahadur Hospital in Shahdara.

Mursaleen was allegedly tortured by a mob for not chanting 'Jai Shri Ram,' before being shot dead and dumped in Bhagirathi Vihar canal, during the large-scale communal violence that broke out across Northeast Delhi in February 2020 over the controversial Citizenship (Amendment) Act (CAA).

"My life was ruined the minute I saw his body... The image is still fresh in my mind. It haunts me and gives me sleepless nights," said 27-year-old Nargis, who is among the many women who were widowed during the riots, which claimed 53 lives and left over 500 injured.

Although there are no official figures on the number of widowed women, the number is estimated to be 25.

Four years on, The Quint tells the stories of four widows – Nargis, Saiba, Zahira, and Neetu – who even as they try to rebuild their lives, live with endless trauma.

'They Died of No Fault of Their Own...'

Though Nargis, Saiba, and Zahira are strangers, they have a lot in common.

Their husbands – Mursaleen (32), Aas Mohammad (30), and Aqil Ahmed (35), respectively – had stepped out either for work or to check on their families when they were allegedly bludgeoned to death by a mob. All three were dumped in the Bhagirathi Vihar canal on 25-26 February 2020.

On 25 February 2020, Saiba's husband Aas, a daily-wage labourer, stepped out of his house in Old Mustafabad, to pay his daughter's school fees and then head to work.

"I pleaded him not to go, but he didn't listen. We found his body on 9 March 2020. It was swollen and puffed. He died of no fault of his own..." a teary-eyed Saiba told The Quint.

Thirty-five-year-old Zahira and her husband Aqil, a mechanic, were residents of Mustafabad. One week before the riots, they went to Loni, in Uttar Pradesh's Ghaziabad, to meet Zahira's mother.

A mother of four, Zahira told The Quint that on 26 February 2020, Aqil began to worry about the safety of his family back in Mustafabad and planned to return to check on them. At around 9:30 pm, Aqil was allegedly killed by the rioters.

According to the chargesheet filed by the Delhi Police in June 2020, nine Muslims, including Mursaleen, Aas, and Aqil, were killed by a mob for allegedly refusing to chant 'Jai Shri Ram.' The accused were part of a WhatsApp group called Kattar Hindu Ekta (which translates to radical Hindu unity), that was created on 25 February "to take revenge from Muslim rioters who were killing Hindus," the chargesheet reportedly stated.

Subsequently, the Delhi Police arrested nine accused in relation to the incident. In July 2023, a local court granted bail to Lokesh Solanki, the key accused, stating that there was only one piece of circumstantial evidence against him, and its credibility would be assessed at the final stage of the trial, news agency PTI reported.

All three women told The Quint they were unaware of the proceedings in the matter.

"Initially, they called me to court. But I stopped following what is happening, because what's the point? We don't know who the real accused is and who is not. Many people who are innocent are inside jail, and those who are guilty are roaming free..."

Saiba

'I Cry Thinking About the Future of My Kids...'

Weeks after celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary, 35-year-old Neetu Saini's husband Naresh, a vegetable vendor in Brahmapuri, was shot at by "unknown persons" in the wee hours of 25 February 2020.

"My husband, along with other men, was guarding our lane from the mob. At around 3 am that day, there was a commotion outside our street as violence had broken out. When he went to see what was happening, he was shot by someone... He died on 5 March, succumbing to his injuries during treatment..."

Neetu Saini, a mother of two

"I cry thinking about our uncertain future. How will I feed my kids the next day? How will my daughter get married? I can't really explain my feelings now," she told The Quint, flanked by her two children.  

While the Saini family said that the Delhi Police had registered an FIR in connection with the murder, they had no idea about the status of the case. "We don't know who the perpetrators are as no one was able to identify them. We are unaware of what transpired in the investigation, what is going on in court, and how the case is advancing," Neetu told The Quint.

The Quint has reached out to the Delhi Police for more details. This story will be updated as and when we receive a response.

'Struggling To Make Ends Meet, Shunned by In-Laws'

In 2020, the Delhi government announced a compensation of Rs 10 lakh to the kin of the deceased victims. In addition, a monthly widow pension of Rs 2,500 was provided.

This, however, was not enough to support their families, the women alleged.

Unable to meet the daily expenses of the household, Zahira, a tailor based in Loni, was forced to make her eldest son Mohammad Zaid quit school and find a job in 2022. Zaid was just 17 then.

"Every day is a struggle. I barely make Rs 2,500 from tailoring work. Since that isn't enough, I had to find Zaid a job. I don't want him to work... he is a young boy and does not have the maturity, but do we have a choice? Because of what happened to my husband, my poor son is forced to take up responsibility at such a young age..."

Zahira to The Quint

Meanwhile, Saiba alleged to The Quint that her respective in-laws turned against her after the death of her husband, denying her property rights and subjecting her to abuse. 

"After his death, his family turned their backs against me. They demanded that the Rs 10 lakh compensation be divided equally amongst the four brothers and parents, which meant I would get only Rs 2 lakh. But why should I have shared that money? It was my children who lost their father and not them... I was unable to bear the emotional torture and moved out with my children in last year..."

Saiba told The Quint

Saiba said that the compensation amount was used to buy a house for which she receives Rs 6,000 per month as rent. In addition, she earns around Rs 2,500 a month from tailoring work but had to discontinue it after she started experiencing "unbearable" back pain late 2023.

While Saiba's eldest son Mohammad Rihan (14) and daughter Sonam (12) go to a nearby private school, her youngest daughter, Saima, suffers from congenital hearing problems and can't speak. "We have not been able to provide treatment to Saima because we don't have enough money," she added.

However, for Neetu, her in-laws are her biggest support. She lives with her children, Ridhi (13) and Daksh (9), in a one-room flat owned by her husband in Brahmapuri.

"My in-laws have a vegetable shop, so we get groceries from there. My brother-in-law also helps us. But it feels strange to ask them for money because they too have a family to support. How long can I keep telling them that we can't afford to buy new books, clothes, and school essentials?" Neetu said.

Nargis, too, is dependent on her in-laws, and she lives in a small one-bedroom house in a building that belongs to them.

Mursaleen's elder brother adopted Nargis' fourth child Myra – who was born months after her father's death. "I want to keep her with me. But I don't have the income to feed three children. How will I support Myra, who is just three years old?" Nargis asked.

"Sometimes, I find myself crying when my kids are in school. I'll be stitching clothes and I'll break into tears. Last week, my son caught me crying and I said I was not. Though he is only 10, he understands a lot. He just looked at me in silence and walked away. He shows no emotions..."

Nargis

'Scared To Send Kids Out Alone...'

The Northeast Delhi riots which killed 53 people – 38 Muslims and 15 Hindus – drove a sharp wedge between the two communities, the women told The Quint, adding that they are afraid to send their kids out alone even today.

"A lot has changed in my locality in Mustafabad. The communal tensions have reached our kids. It's been four years, but I am very scared to send my kids out alone. I don't send them alone to someplace far and vice-versa... There's always a fear of what if something happens...'

Saiba told The Quint

For Neetu Saini, there is no possibility of moving on or forgiving.

"It is sad that this happened and innocent people like my husband were caught in the midst of it for no reason. I am scared of Muslims now... But also, those who claimed to be champions of the Hindu cause never returned to check on the victims' families. At the cost of innocent lives, they just built their political careers," she said.

The four women, though, echo each other that they want to think about the future instead of delving into the past. "Enough and more has been spoken about this. We don't want to keep speaking about our pain... nothing changes. We are trying to move on with our lives peacefully and are hopeful of a better future for us and our kids," they said.