India’s ‘premier investigating agency’, Central Bureau of Investigation, or CBI, is buzzing with all the wrong news lately. CBI Director Alok Verma and his deputy Rakesh Asthana are warring, the government is allegedly taking sides, third party interventions are suspected, and the opposition is lapping on to this ill-timed controversy. Honestly, it’s all very confusing.Here’s an explainer, from a parallel universe, about different people. Any resemblance to any person or organisation is definitely a co-incidence. Sach mein.A Better Bollywood MasalaThe Dream JobBarging into the boss’ cabin and ransacking it all? A regular day in the life of a CBI officer’s life.Change of Fate?If only changing names can change the fate of a place.The Midnight RushA late announcement, things changing overnight, and people falling in line. Deja vu?The TaskmasterA key manager has had a long association with the ringmaster, since their ‘Gujarat show’. Naturally, every wish sounds like a command from the ‘high-command’. The circus is real.Extra Valuable MitrAll of us have friends. Some are extra valuable and get special privileges. Like a lucrative position in a sensitive organisation, even if you have a questionable track record. Friends with a lot of benefits. Right?A Test MatchA long-drawn tussle between the chief and his deputy gets played in the team, only to be brokered by outsiders. What can go wrong? Well, everything.What can happen next in this crazy, comic story? Let us know in the comments. We'll get through this! Meanwhile, here's all you need to know about the Coronavirus outbreak to keep yourself safe, informed, and updated. The Quint is now available on Telegram & WhatsApp too, Click here to join.