As a 90’s kid, growing up on pop-Indian shows like ‘Yes Boss’ and ‘Office Office’, I couldn’t wait to be an adult – wear ‘big-people’ clothes, go to work, make everlasting friendships, and live the ‘independent woman’ dream. Doesn’t that sound cute! (Maybe more delusional than cute).
Well, you can’t really blame me. The shows never actually showed anyone working! Just a bunch of big fat lies. Work blows… mostly.
So, because I’m mean and this is my job, here’s a list of honest work-life truths that nobody told us growing up:
You’ll Be Looking at the Clock. A Lot!
When you’re working eight hours a day, six days a week, more often than not, you’ll be yearning to head home early.
Office life is a fine balance between getting work done and staring at the clock every fifteen minutes.
Pretending to Be Interested in a Conversation
“Yes, of course I’m interested in knowing about how your cat talks in her sleep, Pooja!” Jeez! People really need to stop talking about their cats so much at work. Bloody courtesy is a b*tch!
Everyone is Hungover on Monday
So-oooo hungover! And the coffee doesn’t help either. Everyone’s hella groggy and going around pledging, “Bro! I’m never drinking again.” A pledge that lasts only till the next “Friday is happy-hour” mail.
Never Bring a Fancy Meal to Work... You’ll Never Get to Eat It!
This one’s for people who take their food a bit too seriously. If you’re munching on something delicious, make sure it serves more than one. Or better yet, just get gobhi. Nobody likes gobhi! Your meal and your appetite will be secured.
Not a Single Pen Will Be in Sight When You Need It
And you thought an office will have an unlimited supply of pens? No, you buffoon!
That One Co-Worker Who Always Flirts With You, No Matter What!
This person just can’t catch a break and won’t let you catch one either. Remember to tell them to dial it down!
You Will Have to Laugh at the Boss’ Jokes as if it Was Specified in Your Contract
And make sure you also thump the table hard to really sell it! Also remind them of their jokes and how funny you found them a week later to seal the deal.
So, for those working and those who will soon start, remember that these work-life tragedies are a given but what’s not is a steady income so just shut up, smile and pick your pay check up on time.
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