Adulting Hacks: How to Pretend You Have a Social Life
Let’s face it. You can’t become a social butterfly just by trying hard. The good news is, you can be one if you know how to play it right.
Some people are just wired to be showcased in the social ‘hall of fame’, while others, well, are the wallflowers.
Whichever side of the line you fall, if you want to be the talk of the town, let us share a pro tip: you don’t actually need to have a life to show it off to your ‘happening’ friends.
Bragging about that Sunday Netflix binging session may NOT be a bright idea.
You may come across as someone who doesn’t have a life. In fact, when friends or colleagues are chatting about one, casually throw in how you totally missed the last episode because of a sundowner.
Pretend you have a hangover and ‘can’t talk about last night’.
Guilty of binging on a sappy romantic series all night and have bags under your eyes? Say you are hungover ‘cause the house party went on till too late. You aren’t lying, not exactly.
On the off chance that someone actually visits your place, make sure you put a couple of glasses and cutlery in the sink beforehand.
‘Cause of-course your ‘other’ group’ of friends totally just left.
‘Were you at XYZ happening place the previous day?’
A conversation starter like that puts you in the offensive. If they deny being there, follow it up with, ‘Ah, must have gotten the wrong person’.
Make frequent Instagram posts of insignificant and mundane things in life.
Use filters on EVERYTHING. Even a lone bubblegum wrapper looks ‘slik’ with ‘Mayfair’ on.
Post-work get-together and they 'forgot' to invite you again?
Just talk loudly (even better if you sound exasperated) over the phone about the ‘nth’ call for a non-existent party invitation.
When confronted by a social butterfly about last Friday’s whereabouts, mention a Tinder date.
If they press for ‘deets’, just give them a mysterious wink.
Look up ‘Facebook events’ section and mark ‘Going’ for all.
Your Facebook friends would get a notification that your 'events' game is real good. Are they going too? Tell them you had to cancel last minute for another gig.
When you pass by an 'it' place, mark yourself checked in.
Whether you are in it or not, doesn’t matter.
In your spare time, read up Zomato reviews of happening restaurants.
... so you can spew them whenever your friends are talk about it.
In short, fake it till you make it!
(Being an adult is tough. What’s tougher is asking for help.Don’t panic. 'A Jugaadu's Guide to Adulting' will help you keep calm and carry on adulting.
PS: We don't take us seriously. You shouldn't, either. )