The ‘Veere Di Wedding’ team got one thing right. The promotions.
The conversation was rife. The debates were volatile. The yaysayers were excited. The naysayers were accused of whataboutery.
“Four women talk of orgasms, sex...woah!’’
“Feminism mat thopo har jagah pe!’’
“If men can abuse, why can’t women?’’
Now, here are the promises that were made by the team at a recent interview:
1) Will break the glass ceiling.
-Sonam Kapoor
2) We wanted to make an aspirational movie for young women.
-Sonam Kapoor
3) Men should watch it, because there are four hot women.
-Sonam Kapoor
4) Why does everyone expect this to be a feminist movie?
-Swara Bhasker
And...
5) *Awfully quiet*
-Kareena Kapoor Khan
If you ask me, Kareena was the smartest. She had foresight. She could, perhaps, foretell that the final product would taste like khichdi, without salt. Don’t get me wrong. The movie isn’t all that bad. It has four women in the lead and...
Oh! That is about it.
They have enough money to feed the next ten generations. They fly off to picturesque locations like Phuket and lounge in private beaches when they’re sad. They abuse. Sometimes the profanities are sexist. They talk about orgasms, masturbation, sex and say things like, “bahar se sati, andar se slutty’’ to keep you ‘entertained’.
They have problems, like regular non-moneyed people.
They have privilege, unlike regular non-moneyed people.
The movie fails the Bechdel Test. But you overlook that. Because you realise that Swara Bhasker was right. They never wanted to take the test.
What did they want to do, though?
Entertain, perhaps?
Was I entertained?
Ummm...
Yes, there are funny bits here and there.
Sumeet Vyas is good.
Kareena Kapoor Khan is good.
Swara Bhasker is good.
Shikha Talsania is good.
Sonam Kapoor is stuck on the sets of Aisha, but she is good too.
Toh problem kya hai?
It’s been two hours since I left the theatre and I still can’t put my finger on it.
The thing is, ‘Veere Di Wedding’ has all the “let’s-break-the-glass-ceiling’’ ingredients. There are four women, in the lead, exercising their power of transgression. There are unbelievably liberal desi parents lapsing into peals of laughter when told that their daughter was caught masturbating. There is even a homosexual couple weaved into the narrative.
But it still falls flat on its face. You keep watching, because you are already in the theatre.
Nothing really hits you. Nothing leaves you stirred.
The story revolves around four friends, their relationships, their choices and their...sex-lives. Their problems are real, yes. That can’t be taken away from anyone.
But you keep wishing that their story was narrated better.
‘Veere Di Wedding’ seems like a long tirade against desi “aunties” with old-school morality. The same women who are stuck in the web we ALL are trying to clamber out of. With no redeeming traits. Are they the real villains, though?
Doesn’t matter. Because ‘Veere Di Wedding’ spreads itself out generously, dabbling in a lot of things here and there, till you lose the thread completely.
Neither entertained, nor moved.
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