The Art Of Seduction In Four Simple Words
There was a time when we waxed poetic about fifteenth century verses, laced with professions of love, tainted with exaggerated bits, and grilled in mawkish foil.
Hear my soul speak,
Of the very instant that I saw you,
Did my heart fly at your service.
I love you more than words can wield the matter,
Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty.
The words mean well, I am sure, but c’mmon! They’re probably still swirling around in radio silence. Methinks, the lady never reverted. Anyway, that time is LONG gone.
If you want to seduce, hold your fuzz and do it in FOUR simple words.
Rules of the game?
From what I’ve gathered, you’ve got to step out of your Freudian complexes and go beyond physical attributes. Seduce, but with...let’s say – common interests. Frankly, we don’t give a d**n about rosy lips, golden hair, flushed cheeks, flat abs, or brown eyes.
Movies. Music. Books. Food. Schools of Thought.
Extend your seduction to include that which taps into both your personalities, and all tweet-crossed lovers shall unite!
Let’s call in sick.
Oi, biryani or biryani?
Let’s read about consent.
Can’t we just sleep?
I love Harry Potter.
Let’s Netflix together.
Star Wars or Avengers?
Now, you know how they say that there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts?
-There are as many kinds of interests as there are loves.
-There are as many kinds of Twitter factions as there are interests.
-There are as many kinds of Twitter sub-factions as there are Twitter factions.
What exactly is the buzz like, in that case?
It is a treasure-trove of relatable chaos.
Before I get into the actual tweets doing the rounds, here is a gist of the the uber- compartmentalised interests ‘seducing’ their way into your timeline with just four words.
- Everything sucks, let’s complain,
- How are you, despair?
- Missed the research deadline.
- You post-modernist mess!
- The book was better! (than the movie)
- Let’s take Trump down
-America, are you there?
- French fries and chill?
- Let’s think about pizza.
- Let’s get fat together.
Stan (‘Stalker+Fan’) Twitter:
Actually, let’s change it to what we prefer- Fan Twitter:
- I love SRK movies
-Ryan Reynolds/ Blake’s husband?
- Let’s watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S again.
You get the drift, right?
Now, for the real show:
Let’s face it. Wooing is not an easy feat. And we’ve got to get it right this time!
Remember what Neruda said?
“I want to do with you what you do in your free time.”
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