The Great Indian Summer Holiday. A droopy haze, a languid blur of board games, dripping mangoes, trips to Nani’s homes, sleep-in mornings, “rasna” afternoons and evenings on water sprinkled chhats - a timeless whiling away of lazy hours.... interrupted rudely by that ominous ring tone - announcing the dreaded arrival of relatives!
The Indian relative is a fascinating creature - quick to leave its own habitat, migrates with alacrity and comes in all shapes and sizes, quirks, characters and ages.
Here is an ode to the motley bunch of chachas, chachis, mamas, masis, buas, phoophas - not to forget the “door ke” tharki taus.
Chipku Chacha
Remember the picky fella who turned up with their “hold-alls” and “attachees”, unannounced, and stayed on without booking return tickets ? Guess what, the maids hated them too.
Matchmaking Mausi
She is always on the prowl to get you paired up with someone. She just wants to be the one to get you hitched and earn all the good karma for herself. “Isse acha ladka tumhe nahi milega” would be her pet dialogue.
Tharki Tau
He’s the happy-go-lucky, sleazy uncle with the cheesy, filmy, flirty lines and “kanoon se bhi lambe” groping arms. The one who piles on to every lady in the house - dadi and nani included. The gharelu casanova who needed to be told “tumse na ho payega”.
Popat Phoopha
He is the goofy one who you love to fool around with. You also love to take advantage of the fact that they believe everything you say. They serve as quick ATMs for that much needed cricket ball or triple decker ice-cream.
Seductive Aunty
She is often the one your parents caution you against , saying, “kuch bhi karna, uske jaisa mat banna.”
Chachi 420
Remember the nosy one who interferes in your personal space. Even the bathroom is not safe from her piercing glare. She’s the one who nags you for every possible thing in the world, with her famous elbow blow.
Drama Queen Bua
This woman has to rant about everything, from ‘’sabzi kitni mehengi ho gayi’’ to ‘’yeh ladka bike 100 ki speed se chalata hai’’. Not just this, she will complain about even the inevitable, with her ‘’yeh mausam jaan leke rahega’’.
Mastikhor Mamu
He turns any family event into a laugh riot. It’s fun when they are around but equally embarrassing when they start pulling out facepalm secrets that were best left behind with childhood.
Relatives! They belong best in a Barjatya 70mm sweet family sing-along.
(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)