Journalism in India – Glorious and Gonzo!

As I watched television, channel after channel vivisect the death of one of our biggest movie stars, Sridevi – my heart swelled with pride. These intrepid band of news hounds refused to be reined in by the token-dignity of death, right to privacy, and most heartening of all, facts.I do realise that facts have a certain sentimental value to them, but true journalism cannot afford to be sentimental. It can on occasion be ‘mild and nice’, but getting bogged down by restraint and truth is just a lot of old-fashioned humbug.Good journalism is about letting your imagination run unshackled and unfiltered – with all the creative license of a WhatsApp forward on hydroxyl drugs. Never let the shortage of facts get in the way of reportage.Hunter S Thompson said in 1973, “Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism. Best not to strive for it.” (The last part he didn’t say. I did. Also, I selectively quoted him out of context – but that shouldn’t matter. That is a skill set)As news came in that the matinee idol had died due to ‘accidental drowning’ in the bathtub, television journalism scaled new heights of glory. In a time of bereavement for a shocked family, it takes a refreshing disregard for good taste to come up with catchy captions like ‘Maut ka bathtub (the bathtub of death).’ What a succinct summation of a tragedy – the accompanying graphic of a bathtub was even more impressive in its literal clarity. Lest some idiot viewer get the impression that ‘maut ka bathtub’ was some sort of poetic metaphor.Journalism is not in the business of metaphors or poetry. What infuriated me though was how present day reportage was refusing to push the boundaries – what was the point of these endless bathtub discussions if nobody was willing to actually take the plunge.Why couldn’t one of our vigilante primetime anchors actually do an entire news show out of a bathtub? Why couldn’t the rest of the expert panel, which included extremely consequential actors like Priya Malik (I am a big fan, though for some strange reason I can’t remember a single film) also be stationed in bathtubs? Wouldn’t that be a truly immersive experience for the viewer? This decorum was frustrating to say the least. There was a sliver of hope though – a Telugu channel named Mahaa News did manage to position its crime reporter in a bathtub. He didn’t drown – which is unfortunate because a man should go the whole hog in the line of duty. Call me unfeeling, but I would question his commitment here.Which brings us back to Hunter S Thompson – the father of Gonzo journalism and to my strong belief that our TV news is both gung ho and Gonzo. Read up on Wikipedia on Gonzo journalism (I did. My research stops at Wiki lest you assume this is actually a well researched piece). Gonzo journalism ‘is a style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story via a first person narrative.’Based on a completely superficial and misinterpreted understanding of the principles of Gonzo journalism, I declare that we are well entrenched in its fine traditions. Look at the evidence – journalists embedding themselves in the narrative to give you a first-hand experience of the last 15 minutes in a celebrity’s life, even Thompson wouldn’t have managed that.For all his legend status, he never did manage to embed himself in a bathtub. A feat that Indian news television will definitely go on to surpass in the golden period that is sure to follow.Therefore, in conclusion, to allow Indian journalism to continue unfettered, I would advise you to stop reading critiques steeped in self flagellation. To block out and downplay news that the investigation on Sridevi’s death has been concluded and closed.These are killjoy moves to break the spirit of true investigative journalism. We must resist any attempt at reason, restraint or accuracy – it takes the fun out of our primetime. Stay united – we will overcome good sense. We are almost there.(Naomi Datta gave up being a TV journalist years ago because she was impelled by self doubt for failing to know if Aishwarya Rai had actually married a tree. The failure haunts her. The above, however, is a piece of satire)(Hey there, lady! What makes you laugh? Do you laugh at sexism, patriarchy, and misogyny? Do 'sanskaari' stereotypes crack you up? This Women's Day, join The Quint's Ab Laugh Naari campaign. Pick up that beer, say cheers, and send us photographs or videos of you laughing out loud at buriladki@thequint.com.)

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