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Anti-Romeo Squad’s ‘Atrangi’ Writes a Letter To His Valentine

Atrangi wasn’t able to meet Babli today as he was really busy. To make up for his absence, he wrote her a letter

Published
Satire
2 min read

On 14 February, the world is celebrating Valentine's Day, the day of love. But here I am, who is duty-bound today as my future depends of this one day.

You are the only one, dear, who can understand the pain of this Anti-Romeo Squad 'Atrangi'. Even though we can't meet, I thought this letter, which I wrote just for you, should reach you in time.

My dear Babu,

Long live Mother India!

Whenever Valentine's Day is here, I am filled with envy. Even though I wish to take you out somewhere, I just can't, as today is the day when I can't leave work at any cost.

You see, we wait for this day more than lovers do. In fact, we live for this day. Our performance on Valentines Day brings with it promotions and appraisals.

Yes, I know we havent met for a week, but what can I do? When our team is busy turning all lovers into siblings, how can I take you to the park or the mall?

If Shambhu bhaiya gets to know about our love, he will lose his trust in me. Then he won't give me work for election rallies, performances against films, and instead, give all of this work to that Shukla guy.

You know, I had brought you flowers for Rose Day on 7 February, but that Sumit Bhatnagar went and gave it to Mohan ji instead. And came back and handed me a lotus flower! Mohan ji also became very happy with him and told us that we too, should take prerna, or inspiration from Sumit. Now, little does Mohan ji know that Prerna is the name of his girlfriend.

Not only this, I was also buying a teddy bear for you, but then I came across Inspector Mandal in the market. Now, had I purchased the Teddy in front of him, he would have thought that this devotee of Hanuman ji has gotten involved with a foreign bear. And if he caught us during one of his dharnas, he would have beat me more than anyone else.

But please do not get angry. I've got Patanjali chocolate for you this time.

Just wait until the time when I become famous, after beating someone black and blue on Valentine's Day, then rest assured, you will ride with me in a red siren car.

After all, I am doing all this for you. Now I will stop writing. Bhaiyaji has messaged me. Remember the place where we had chowmein, I have to go there immediately to beat four couples there.

Your Shona,

Atrangi

(The Quint is available on Telegram. For handpicked stories every day, subscribe to us on Telegram)

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