10 Crazy Headlines from Deepveer, Ambani & Priyanka Shaadi Cycle
Indian celebrities are getting married left, right and centre. And the media just can’t keep calm.
‘Cmon, don’t act holier than thou here; we are just giving you the news that YOU want. But granted, we (aka the media) can get a biiiitttttt extra at times. Here are ten times we did just that, while covering celeb weddings.
1. Guess Who Invited Katrina?
Guess who invites guests to a wedding — the people who are getting married perhaps?
Because as it turns out, the groom, Ranveer Singh, himself had invited Katrina to his wedding. Thanks for revealing the mystery in your article guys. It was nail biting till the end.
2. Find Out Which ‘Hot’ Singer Will Sing at Isha Ambani’s Wedding
Woah, way to introduce a Grammy winning singer. Not to take away from the fact that Beyonce is extremely hot, but introducing her like that is just juvenile. Was a thirteen-year-old boy writing this headline?
3. Let’s Play Kundli Kundli
Sometimes, the media loves to play a forty year old, astrology obsessed aunty who goes to the panditji to find out whether a celeb coupling has no raahu-ketus threatening it. After all, THAT IS what the nation wants to know.
4. Being Lehenga Purists
Last I checked, Alia Bhatt had not filed a patent for a lehenga. Little did I know that if you happen to wear the same lehenga as her, you are going to end up on national news. I better get my act together.
5. Saas-Bahu Body Language Watchers
Saas ke saath no jhagda, aur to aur saas ka haath bhi pakda?? Daal mein zaroor kuch kaala hai. Trust desi media to investigate.
6. Concerned Bandhus
Sometimes we are just concerned for our beloved celebrities. We just want the best for them, so we report on the ‘concerns’ that their
imaginary, oops, ‘real’ friends are revealing to us as our ‘sources’. Are people still buying this though?
7. Mauke Pe Chauka
The media is currently under a lot of pressure to get traffic. So we look for all possible ways to maximize traffic to a story. A brilliant example of it lies above. Now, let’s be frank — no one would have cared where Kulbhushan Kharbanda’s daughter is getting married. But we took a limp story and chamkaoed it with a sexy SEO headline.
Dear headline writer, you are a genius. The rest of us are all taking notes sitting here.
8. Capitalism Ka Shikaar
When you want to write a critique about capitalism, and are made to write a story about a high-profile wedding for rozi roti, the headline, as a result, can be quite melodramatic. We are drinking an Old Monk in solidarity.
9. Mummy Raazi, to Kya Karega Kaazi?
Journalism is all about getting all sides of the story. So we go to the lengths of speaking to a 35-year-old woman’s mother to find out if she has given approval for the daughter’s shaadi. It’s a tough job, you guys.
10. The Existential Crisis Waali Headline
Somewhere we all agree that life can be quite dreary without a celebrity wedding. But does its absence warrant an existential crisis? Well, that’s a first!