The Great Indian Circus in Verse ft. Karnataka’s Worst

Our farmers in heavenHallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come, thy will be done……Said Farmer One to Farmer Two“They have their prayer all wrong!It’s father, not farmer – idiots,Whatever have they become?Kumaraswamy’s 2nd Innings in K’Taka is JDS‘s Litmus Test for 2019 Said One to Two, looking surprised,“Oh fiddle dee dee, boo hoo!What OS have you downloaded?In what century are you?It’s election time you knowTo talk of many thingsWhen the dead are alive,And fathers farmersCabbages and kings.Can our suicides make it, you thinkTo the headlines, the front page?Where’s the dead baby, get her to cryUpload a pic to the sage.“Wah haaan! wah haaan!” we goCrying in full rhyme.That should get the Lingayat plus oneVotes in just fine.”How Karnataka Dalit, Lingayat cards didn't work for CongressFarmer Two was in overdriveFull election-speakWatching on Heaven TVThe hell on earth so cheap.WiFi was free, the speed was goodThe transmission was so clear.“Oh I’m Lingayat, did I vote wrong?Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!On TV they say, my tribe votedFor this and not for thatIt’s just as well that I am deadMy vote duly sent back.”Now Farmer One had his turnAnd quickly he shot back,“You tell me ‘update software’But miss the basic factOne can be twoAnd two, twenty-twoThis can be that.”Yeddyurappa stares at uncertain future in KarnatakaThere go more farmersBless their pious soulsIn an AC bus at that.“Oh dear, the bus is now a plane!”“Is it heaven-bound, ol’ chap?”“If it is,We’ve got friends coming,Bring out the cognac!Shhhh! This is holy businessDon’t you ever say that!Hide your bottleWhere is it pray?Did you down the whole vat?Or give it to the Chief you did –As taxes, GST and VAT.”GST Returns Deadline Extended to 22 May Due To Technical IssuesFarmer Two was bored by now,And said, “Just look at that!”Hell’s on TV, everywhere‘Breaking Now’, ‘Live chat’.“It’s breaking all over the place,”Said One,“Our deaths are Live News.”Do a jig, won’t you please?It’s good to (finally) be of use.Farmer One and TwoTuned in nowTo channel one-twenty-one.And suddenly they were sad to seeThe lonely chastised one.The man in white stood high so highAnd swore on a bouquet –And suddenly TV Talkers hissedAnd his flowers were taken away.Farmer suicides increased under Modi government: Congress“The farmers, the farmers, the farmers!”He had repeatedly said.Which was funny, thought One and Two,Since they were directly overhead.“It does seem strange,” said Farmer Two,“To do a big roll call”.“Maybe we should suggest quite nicelyA complete overhaul?”“But, but, but! How will they hear us?Since you know we are quite dead.”F 2 said to 1 smiling“Oh! That is easily said.They don’t, they don’t hear you, you know.And please don’t start to mind.Just say ‘Amen’ and ‘Ohm Namo’And it will be divined.”And so it was,Just as they spokeTheir words became hotelsAnd whooshed around in parking lotsAnd bathroom sleeper cells.Then everyone called it murderDemocracy is dead!Said Farmer One to Two“Why are we dead instead?”Then he sawHow odd it wasThat he was talking at all.Since Farmer TwoCould never hearA single word at all.“Are we alive now,” said Farmer Two,“Is there finally some bread?”But Farmer One wasn’t listeningBecause you don’t dialogue with the dead.(With apologies to Lewis Carroll)(Revati Laul is an independent journalist and film maker based in Delhi. She tweets @revatilaul. This is a satire. The views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for them.)

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The Great Indian Circus in Verse ft. Karnataka’s Worst

Revati Laul spins an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ out of the madness of Karnataka elections & the democracy (that isn’t).

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Topics: B. S. Yeddyurappa Karnataka Elections Opinion Polls Karnataka Election 2018 Congress