This is a piece of satire, so chill.
Okay guys, so the cat’s out of the bag...
I am that candid photographer, that third wheel you’re all talking about.
I have to say, it’s been such an honour to be there at the 'private' moments of our favourite celebrities.
Honestly, it feels so great to be in that inner circle, you know. I feel blessed to be able to bask in the afterglow of their love and come to think of it, all that I really have to say is “don’t mind me...you do your cute little thing, boos”.
I mean yes there are of course some instructions, I have to shout like “hold that snuggle Pri” or “ keep looking off to the right like the toaster just popped Nick” or “come on Virat, I know the sun’s hurting your eyes but it doesn't seem to be bothering Nush, chop chop make it work”. It does get tough but I can't really complain.
To everyone who’s thinking "CREEP MUCH", trust me, they do not mind! In this world nothing matters more than an adorably envious candid picture of two extremely famous and good looking people. Get with the program y’all! Paparazzi photos are so passé.
It’s all about those candid shots in one’s pj’s, post brunch pashing, enjoying that hangover with your adopted pet, looking pensively out the window of your private jet. And just add one more thing to each of those magic moments... ME.
It truly is a very rewarding job. Loved working with my all time favourite clients, like Anushka. Girl, I will never forget the time you picked up that ‘gutka’ wrapper from the slopes in the alps, thrown by an Indian tourist. Can definitely not forget Virat giving the guy a real yelling...oh how I miss those good times!
And how can I forget my darling, PC. Priyanka you’re such a breeze. It’s the easiest to work with you because sleeping is work, chilling is work, walking is work, being stuck in traffic is work, hanging with your girl gang at the bachelorette is work.
Here’s to all those pictures and all that work honey!
So yeah guys, that’s my life. I mean yeah some times it's not easy being in a different country every week, sleeping on fine Egyptian cotton beds, making space in your suitcase for all those expensive freebies and getting to chill with ‘Sansa Stark’.
As you must have heard, a candid photographer is never off duty. Okay signing off now, being called for Pri’s afternoon power nap photo shoot! See you on the next post lovelies.
(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)