Never Thought I’d Manage Roti, Kapda Locked in a Makaan Alone
Let’s start with a little about me. I’m almost 35-years-old, independent (if you don’t consider cooking and cleaning as a part of it) woman, who has been staying away from home for the last 16 years. I’ve been living all by myself in my tiny 1BHK in Worli, Mumbai. Yeah, you guessed it right- it’s crazy expensive. But, it’s a price you have to pay if you don’t want to commute by the Mumbai local and want to stay closer to friends and work.
Living alone is the best thing ever because you don’t have to share your space (read bathroom) but also if you’re someone like me, who’s never cooked or cleaned, it’s just better to not have an annoying flatmate whose hobbies include cleaning the cupboard or trying out new recipes. So, if you haven’t figured it out already- let me make it clearer, I’m someone who hates doing any housework and I’m terribly dependent on my cook/maid to give me edible food and keep the house tidy.
So, when PM Narendra Modi announced a 21-day nationwide lockdown, this is what happened to me next:
First Reaction: What a Brave Move... I Support This Decision!
“This is the only way we can fight Coronavirus and it’s the need of the hour. What’s there to even debate? Yeh toh hona hi chahiye,” I said to myself. I promised to do whatever it takes to stay at home. Jai Hind!
Wait! What Do You Mean the Lockdown Starts in 4 Hours?
Even the most khadoos boss or landlord - trust me, I’ve dealt with many - gives a notice period. Why could they not announce this at 8am instead of 8pm so I at least got some hours to plan my life or just fly back home to family where I would get everything on a platter and my life wouldn’t change at all.
Wait a minute - was flight ban a hint? But, hello!!? Not everyone is great at picking up on hints, I’m definitely not, if I were, I wouldn’t be single. And to be very honest, I was expecting a lockdown the moment Modi ji said “Aaj raat 12 baje ke baad...”, we Indians have been there before, we know what that means - but what I didn’t expect at all was the duration of the lockdown to be 3 whole weeks.
I Can’t Step Out? Fine! Can the Maid/Cook Step In, Please?
I know that defeats the purpose but I did warn you, I’m rambling, so let me. I’ve never cooked in my entire life or cleaned the house for even a day and now I’ll have to (not out of choice, of course) for 21-FUC***G-DAYS and I also have to work from home? And I can’t just quit without a notice period and why would I, real work is the only thing that will keep me sane, right?
PS: Let’s be real, I can’t quit anyway. Remember, 1BHK in Worli?
Calm Down! E-Commerce Zindabaad!
I rely hugely on apps like Big Basket, Prime Now, Nature’s Basket to order groceries and I knew that they will stand by me in these testing times so I decided to order some ready-to-eat meals. I’ve given them way too much business, so they better - deliver (pun). I logged on to all these apps only to realise that all their delivery slots were full. I tried calling them but all my calls were left unanswered. It was a feeling of abandonment that I can’t describe.
Do I Have Enough Ghar Ke Kapade?
I had to come to terms with the fact that I had to now cook unpalatable food to survive. But, then it also hit me that my misery doesn’t end there. I will also need to wash my clothes. No, I don’t have a washing machine because I like to take good care of my clothes and also, did I not mention that I live in Mumbai? I can’t let a washing machine take that kind of space, I’d rather use it for an extra cabinet for clothes or shoes because #Priorities.
So, I came up with a genius idea of keeping 21 sets of t-shirts and pyjamas/shorts for 21 days so I won’t have to wash clothes at all. With the AC on all day and me not stepping out in the sun, I’m hoping they won’t smell bad.
What If the WiFi Stops Working Too?
How will I work or watch Netflix? You know the famous saying “Pran jaaye parr WiFi na jaye.”? It was the only connection I just couldn’t afford to lose as it was also my only companion for the next 21 days.
Why Am I Complaining? It’s All My Fault
And then came the moment of great epiphany. It was all my fault. My boss called me twice, asked me to go home and be with family, I didn’t. My parents called me ten times a day and I didn’t listen to them either. So, now I must live with this decision and do things I never imagined I would. For all you know, I may turn into a masterchef by the end of this all... Wait, who am I fooling? That’s never happening.