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Kusha Kapila: How To Blame a Woman for Her Divorce – The Troll Edition

Trolls always find a way to attack the woman, while the men are let off the hook with sympathy posts.

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Kusha Kapila is a fashion editor, a social media influencer, a comedian, and an actress – but to the trolls of Twitterville, she is the internet's latest 'villain', simply because she announced her mutual separation from her partner Zorawar Singh Ahluwalia, who she got married to in 2017.

In a post on Instagram on Monday, 26 June, Kusha said, "This hasn't been an easy decision by any measure, but we know it's the right one at this point of our lives ... We gave it our all, until we couldn't anymore."

The trolls got to work as soon as the announcement was made – and in less than 24 hours – Kusha Kapila was trending on Twitter.

Why? Because "the separation was her fault," "she's a typical feminist who ditches her husband after tasting success," and "she has no respect for Indian values and culture."
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Calling out the barrage of online hate against Kusha, Zorawar, who is also a successful actor and social media personality, put out a statement on Tuesday, 27 June, saying:

"What has transpired over the last 24 hours, with Kusha being subject to vile attacks online makes me sad and disappointed. To attack Kusha's character and paint her as some villain is shameful. Let's all please do better."

What's funny (or not) is that this has happened way too many times. Every time a couple announces their separation (and we're not just talking about celebrity couples), it is somehow always the woman's fault (why does it have to be ANYONE'S fault?).

Malaika Arora, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Sussanne Khan... the list goes on. If you need a reminder, read here.

Somehow, like clockwork, the trolls always find a way to attack the woman while the men are let off the hook with sympathy posts. Though it's no one's business in an ideal world, the best way to address the work of trolls – at this point – is to understand their MO.

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The Modus Operandi of a Troll

1. Find Her Strengths & Use It Against Her

This is one of the most important tenets of the Troll Manual. To a troll, a woman's strength can be anything – talent, ambition, money, or success. If the woman is successful, the only obvious reason why she would leave her beloved husband is to make more money and be more successful, right?

If she's ambitious, then she's leaving because she's not focusing on her family enough.

If she's talented, she's leaving him for better opportunities.

And of course, if she's a feminist, then doubt no more! It's just in her nature to 'ditch' her husband.

In Kusha's case, the trolls have already established that she thinks "she's too good for" Zorwar owing to her success – though they have no clue as to what's going on in their personal lives. But that's just the way the troll mind works.

2. Character Assassination

This is a no-brainer. Trolls, without fail, will attack the woman's character by slut-shaming her, accusing her of having an affair or blaming her for being too focused on her career.

A good example to illustrate this would be the separation of actors Samantha Prabhu and Naga Chaitanya. Two months after the couple announced their divorce, a Twitter user named Kamarali Dukandar tweeted, "Samantha is a divorced, ruined, secondhand item who has Rs 50 crores tax-free money, robbed from a gentleman (sic)."

Trolls always find a way to attack the woman, while the men are let off the hook with sympathy posts.

However, Dukandar got schooled for his misogynistic tweet, when Samantha simply wrote: "God bless your soul." And he has deleted his tweet since.

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3. 'All Women Are Bad'

A divorce is also a good opportunity for a troll to attack other women – or better yet, all of womankind. Women are blamed for not having the ability to "compromise" anymore or stay in marriages – because who cares what they want.

For instance, in the following tweet, a troll has not only made it a point to attack Kusha, but also actress Anushka Sharma. Because, why not.

4. 'She Just Wants Alimony'

If the husband is famous too, then the only reason a woman chooses to divorce him (even if it's mutual) is because she wants his money.

After the Samantha-Naga Chaitanya separation, the troll gang's favourite trope was that she received crores of money as alimony. The same applied to Malaika Arora after her separation with Arbaaz Khan. She was called a 'gold digger' by social media nobodies because, apparently, all she wanted was his money.

It doesn't matter that she's a successful actor herself!

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5. Gotta Support the Man No Matter What

Another important tenet in the troll manual is to stand by the man no matter what. For instance, the comments section of Naga Chaitanya's posts shortly after his separation from Samantha were filled with love and respect for him and his upcoming films. It simply had no mention of the divorce!

The following post sums it up.

6. Divorce Is Baaad

Then, of course, there's the age-old narrative that divorces are essentially bad and only point to the dropping morals of any society. It doesn't matter if the couple is unhappy or if the relationship is toxic. If you're divorced (and a woman), you're just against the Indian culture (of keeping 'family matters' under wraps).

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7. 'Your Life is Ruined!'

Finally, trolls must ask the all-important question to the woman they're attacking: 'Who will marry you now?'

This stems from the fact they think a woman is someone's property – regardless of whether they're celebrities, of course. She may be smart and successful, but what is she without a man afterall?

Unfortunately, what is missing in the Troll Manual is that NONE of this is their business. To think that you have any say in telling a woman (who doesn't even know you) how to live her life with so much conviction – you must be another level of 'entitled'.

A woman isn't answerable to anyone for her divorce, least of all trolls.

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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Topics:  Social Media   trolls   Divorce 

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