Karan Johar's blockbuster Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... released in 2001. It's been 20 years, and a lot has changed, most importantly our perspectives. Here are 20 things that I just don't understand about the film, in 2021.
1. Rohan Raichand (Hrithik Roshan) goes to a boarding school in UK, not United Kingdom, but Uttrakhand (Mussoorie). At least that's what KJo wants you to believe.
Btw, what's the procedure to apply to this school and pay in INR?
2. What's creative liberty, you ask? To show that someone could be standing two steps away from you, but you have no idea that they are in the same room, so you go ahead and share the family's biggest secret.
3. Welcome to the Raichand house, situated in Delhi! Yes, if we are to believe Karan Johar, this place is just a few kilometres away from Chandni Chowk in Delhi.
4. The Raichands host a Diwali pooja and invite over 200 guests to their house, who they barely socialise with, but all the guests dance to a well-choreographed song. If my wedding sangeet would look even .2% like the Diwali pooja hosted by the Raichands, I'd be the happiest bride.
5. Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan) is shocked to see his mom, Nandini Raichand (Jaya Bachchan), standing at the door with a pooja ki thaali. "Maa, mere aane se pehle tumhe hamesha kaise pata chal jaata hai?", he asks. An honest reply would have been, "Beta, tum chopper pe aaye ho, cycle pe nahi!".
Also, who travels from London to Delhi with just a laptop bag? I take a bigger bag when I go for a one-night stay over at a friend's.
6. What's the mantra to a successful marriage? listen to your husband and never question him. Why? KJo ne keh diya na, bass keh diya!
Yes, it's all about loving your parents, but respecting just one, the father.
7. While I can't even get myself to walk in Chandni Chowk, without rubbing shoulders with sweaty strangers, Anjali (Kajol) can enjoy a bhangra, Pooja (young Kareena Kapoor Khan) can take tongue twister challenges, Anjali can even host a party for her Bauji's (Alok Nath) birthday and Rukhsaar (Simone Singh) can host a wedding on the busy streets of Chandni Chowk... bohot nainsaafi hai!
8. Nobody can teach their kids about "parivaar ki parampara" while doing shaava shaava with girls half their age till the wife, who has zero say in your life or your life's decisions, comes and tells you "bass kijiye, bohot ho gaya", as effortlessly as Yashvardhan Raichand (Amitabh Bachchan).
9. There's a scene in the film where Rahul Raichand kisses Anjali on the cheek and she tells Rukhsaar that she thinks he did that because he wants her mithai ki dukaan? I have nothing more to say here. Let's move on.
10. Parivaar ki izzat = Shaadi with someone who's as rich (or just a little less chalega) as you. In short, I think that Yashvardhan Raichand would have accepted Anjali if she didn't commute, within the city, in a chopper, but no Mercedes or BMW? Haww!
11. So our man, Rahul Raichand has no money, he's been disowned by his father... but he moves to London, with his wife, the wife's sister and their neighbour too. If I were Rahul, not too sure if I'd be able to fund a life for myself in Lonavla even, but oh well!
12. Rahul looks just the same after 10 years, but Rohan looks like this. Can we get Rohan's dietician and gym trainer's number, please? Oh, and Rahul's anti-aging cream too. Btw, the colour of Rohan's eyes changed and he got one extra thumb too.
13. Rohan searches for his long-lost brother Rahul on the streets of London, but then dimaag ki batti jaagi and turns out Rahul was just a click away. My Uber driver takes way longer to find me when I book a cab, someone start an app called findyourpassenger.com in India already.
14. Now I've heard of people who wake up in the morning and sing the Gayatri Mantra or Hanuman Chalisa, but only in the KJo universe, an NRI family wakes up to Saare jahan se achaa, Hindustan humara.
Yes, that's what Anjali is seen singing and praying to God and a picture of Rahul's parents too, of course. After all, it's all about loving your (husband's) parents.
15. Just like his brother, Rohan too travels to London from India with just a laptop bag... and just like his mother, Rahul ko kaise pata chal jaata hai ki uska bhai aaya hai? Parivaar ki parampara, I guess?
16. If you can't afford an Airbnb or a hotel abroad, go to any desi house, find out what's the owner's father's name and introduce yourself with that very name, and voila! you'll have a five-star Airbnb just like that, no more details needed.
This strategy works better abroad than Aadhaar card works in India.
17. Poo leaves her house for the prom night in mismatched shoes, but her shoes magically change when she reaches the prom... think she picked a new pair on her way to the prom.
18. Daijaan (DJ) finds out Rohan is her "baba" because this 6ft child still cannot tie his shoe laces.
I have one very genuine question, who was tying his shoe laces all this while, before this scene?
19. "Aisa ho sakta hai ki mera beta ek sapna dekhe aur main usko pura na karun?", said a father when he landed in London because they gave a surprise-visit to their son in his dreams. The same father, btw, has not been able to accept his other son's reality since the last 10 years.
PS: If I told my parents that I had such a dream, they'd ask me to go back to sleep.
20. Honestly, nothing works better in India than a daadi's dying wish and so after all plans have failed, it's the daadi who has to literally lose her life so the Raichand get back together to live their happily ever after.