‘Always Wanted to Be a Bride But Not a Wife,’ Says Gujarat Woman Marrying Self

The woman plans to hold the wedding ceremony at a temple, where traditional customs such as feras will be followed.

2 min read
Hindi Female
Edited By :Padmashree Pande

“I plan to wear a yellow saree for the haldi and a dhoti-kurta for the mehendi,” said Kshama Bindu, a 24-year-old digital creator from Vadodara who is set to marry self on 11 June.

Kshama, who says that she does not fit into binaries, said that she had started questioning societal norms when she was much younger.

Her marriage is likely to be the first instance of sologamy in India. She plans to hold the wedding ceremony at a temple in Gotri in Gujarat's Vadodara district, followed by a honeymoon for one in Goa.

'Always Wanted to Be a Bride, But Not a Wife'

Kshama told The Quint that her decision was rooted in her desire to get married – but not be a wife. “Since childhood, I have dreamed of getting married, but I did not believe in a lot of the traditions attached to it, such as a woman leaving her home to go to her husband’s house,” she said.

"It took a few hours to explain it to my parents but they eventually accepted it. They knew that I have always been a bit of a rebel."
Kshama Bindu

As someone who does not prescribe to binaries, she goes by the pronouns she/her and he/him, but her first preference is she. She pointed that the wedding is scheduled in June to coincide with Pride Month.

‘It’s An Act of Self-Love’

However, her decision did get flak, not only online, but from friends and acquaintances, too. Speaking about it, she said,

A few of my friends opposed it. Others have criticised it, calling it selfish and narcissistic. How is it selfish if I am not hurting anyone? I think it is a gesture of self-love.
Kshama Bindu

Twitter was seemingly divided on the news of India's first ever sologamy.


The BBC in 2017 reported about the emerging trend of sologamy, citing the case of a New York-based performance artist Gabrielle Penabaz who conducted over 1,500 such ceremonies for others.

When she started researching about this, she said that she learnt about people who have married themselves, but she said that she would probably be the first to do so in India.

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Topics:  Gujarat   Gender Fluidity   sologamy 

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