(Trigger Warning: Some questions could make you feel agitated. Reader discretion is advised.)
Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.
If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers, or just someone to hear you out – write to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This week’s Q&As are below:
'I Think I Am Pregnant'
I have been following your articles here for some time now. I have something personal to share with you. I am a 28 year old woman from Delhi. I am looking for some real personal advice. I think I am pregnant. I have become fat and my periods are irregular. I am really scared.
This is what happened. I was in my far off cousins house a week ago. I went into his room unannounced and it looked like he was up to something. You know… i mean, he was shaking his dick or something like that. He quickly wore his pants in a second and asked me to sit. I didn't. He then came close and then I couldn't control and started kissing him.
We both were kissing-kissing and suddenly I was down to my underwear. I sat on the bed. But the bed was wet. There was white gum like thing, that I was told by my friend that is sperm that makes woman pregnant. I now sat on his gum and it wet my underwear. From that day onwards I became fat.
Now that episode is 4 months old, I am very fat and my periods are irregular. I think in another 5 months I will become a mother. I cannot have this child. Please help me. Why does god punish me for just sitting on his gum. Please save me. I have never had an abortion. I have never had sex with anyone. I just did this one mistake. Please help.
Dear Worried Cousin,
Thank you so much for writing in.
Let me first put your worries to rest.
Sperm cells dry pretty quickly. They will not survive the travel from the testicles, to the penis, to the fabric to another fabric and then the vagina. So the chances that you are pregnant because you, in your underwear, sat on a surface that had sperm is zero.
People who are pregnant skip their menstruations altogether. A healthy person would not miss periods, will not have periods at all. Though the likelihood of pregnancy is your irregular periods are a concern. You should visit a gynaecologist to find out why that is happening.
I know sometimes we get engrossed in moments and we end up making out with people close to us.
The only important thing in adults who engage in sexual relationships is consent and age. As long as the people engaging in the sexual act are adults and there is consent at every stage by all involved in the act, there is no reason why anyone should feel guilty.
It is your body. It is your prerogative of what you want from it and how you wish to enjoy it. No one else should have any say on this.
P.S. Throw the guilt out of the window.
'My Penis Doesn't Stand At All'
My penis doesn't stand at all. I have tried having sex thrice and at 22 every other friend of mine has had complete sex. However, I have not even had it once. My penis just comes without even giving me an erection. Have I got dysfunction or somethinhg? I am very scared. I am a bisexual person and want to marry a girl someday.
Dear Boy Zone,
Thank you for writing in.
I know comparisons are inevitable between sexual experiences of friends. But what is even more important is to respect the fact that every body is different. Every body responds to their body in different ways.
I cannot diagnose basis what you told me. I am not qualified to do so. I would strongly suggest that you visit a doctor and check with them about diagnosis and a course of action. Just remember this toa can visit and open up to your doctor.
Please take good care of yourself. And book an appointment as soon as you can.
P.S. You can have a fulfilling sex life… just check with a doctor
'The Best Way To Trim Pubes??'
What is the best way to trim pubes. And are there fragrances available to make the smell of the penis going away?
Thank you for writing in.
There are many ways to trim pubic hair. Some use scizzors. Some use a razor to shave. Some also use hair remover creams.
Choose what suits you best.
Just remember the area there is ultra sensitive. So dont cause tension on this.
Also there are roll on deodorants available in the market for the pubic area