The Kids Are Not Okay: The Alarming Rise in Suicides Among Kids in India

(If you feel suicidal or know someone in distress, please reach out to them with kindness and call these numbers of local emergency services, helplines, and mental health NGOs)

Even before the pandemic hit, the rate of children dying by suicide in India was worryingly high. But, National Crime Records Bureau's annual crime report found that this number rose by around 11 percent in 2020.

According to the data released by the NCRB last month, a total of 11,396 children below the age of 18 reportedly died by suicide in India in 2020 – that's around 31 children every day.

What explains this alarming rise in suicides among children?

What can be done to ease the pressures that seem to be overwhelming our country's young ones?

'Family' and Other Problems

The NCRB report lists 'Family Problems' as being the leading cause of suicide among kids below the age of 18— But the phrase is vague, and can include a myriad of issues.

Speaking to FIT, Rama Shyam, the Director of Adolescent Health and Sexuality Education programme at SNEHA, a nonprofit organisation based in Mumbai, says, 'Family issues' can mean many things.

"One of the biggest aspects is the manifestation of power and intimidation when it comes to children, because culturally, we are not trained enough as parents to understand equality and equity when it comes to children." she explains.

Shyam goes on to say, " the other aspect is that the whole idea of ‘ghar ki baat bahar nahi jaani chahiye’, and this whole culture of silence that has been built right since childhood and that runs into adulthood."

"There are a lot of repressed feelings and the inability to question authority. The inability to question the whole parental structure can be very stifling for children."

Rama Shyam, Director of Adolescent Health and Sexuality Education programme, SNEHA Mumbai

This is especially true when you are forced to spend the entire day at home without having any recourse to a safe space–because you’re not sure if the home really is a safe space.

The Pandemic and The Loss of Safe Spaces

The COVID pandemic brought with it a whole new set of challenges on top of the already existing mental and physical health, economic, and socio-cultural issues faced by kids in the country.

"This is probably the first time in history that people were locked up, especially in a city like Mumbai, with the populations that we have, where people live in confined spaces as small as 10 by 10 homes. It was one of the biggest challenges to be cooped up in these small spaces throughout the day," Shyam explains.

"Earlier these spaces were largely used for having meals together or for coming back at night to sleep. People had never envisioned that they would have to spend entire days and months together inside a very small space. So this naturally caused a lot of irritability which might have led to a lot of violence and abuse inside the homes."

Rama Shyam, Director of Adolescent Health and Sexuality Education programme, SNEHA Mumbai

On top of that, the lockdowns threw a wrench in all the avenues that kids had to express themselves and deal with their troubles, and, she says, reporting has been scanty.

"It especially became difficult for women and children to reach out to us, because in most cases, it was the women and children who didn’t have access to phones," says Shyam.

To counter this, she explains how her organisation SNEHA set up a smartphone library and relay system so that a maximum number of kids and women in the communities had access to phones, not only for helplines but also for online classes.

But that wasn't always enough.

"It was very difficult for women, children, survivors to report because they never had a private moment to open up about it, nor did they have the opportunity to call."

Rama Shyam, Director of Adolescent Health and Sexuality Education programme, SNEHA Mumbai

In the pre-pandemic world, schools weren't just places of learning, but also an escape away from their homes for many kids, where they had their own little ecosystem.

Shyam talks about the impact that online learning and something as frivolous (in the face of the pandemic) as not being able to meet their friends, has had on kids.

The impact of the pandemic on the mental health of kids, though, has been a multi-pronged one.

Speaking to FIT, Sumanta Kar, Secretary General, SOS Children’s Villages of India explains, "The pandemic, followed by lockdown, has resulted in lots of anxiety and uncertainty among children; their routines have got disrupted; they miss their friends and also outdoors sports and outings. All these aspects do have a significant impact on mental health."

To counter this, she says, "soon after the pandemic, we ensured that the routine of children does not get severely impacted. Our SOS Mothers, who are trained caregivers, engaged them in various indoor activities like paintings, drawings, story telling, crafts, music, dance, indoor games, preparing recipes and encouraging them to talk to their friends on the phone."

The Other Pandemic

Dealing with COVID in the family, loss of close family members to the illness, loss of livelihood and financial troubles in the pandemic and related stress, have all added to children's' mental health taking a beating in this time, she explains.

"A child is anyway very vulnerable. But a cycle of emotional and physical abuse are some of the bigger things that all constitute 'family problems', including financial loss."

Dr Prakriti Poddar, Member of Rotary Club of Bombay and Mental Health Expert

In spite of kids being locked up with their parents and families in most cases during the lockdown, signs of mental health issues and distress often went unrecognised in them.

"Parents didn't really pay that much attention to children because they were all together. So, they kind of took it for granted that everyone would be okay." says Dr Prakriti Poddar, Member of Rotary Club of Bombay and Mental Health Expert.

Listening to survivors of suicide attempts, she says, "they all spoke to the fact that they felt really belittled by one or both parents."

"Its not as simple as 'oh, they're just fighting'," she explains, talking about how things said in the heat of the moment, like 'stop crying like a girl', or 'I should never have had you', can cause such damage that children feel like there's no point for them to be in this world.

Mental Health in India: A Battle Lacking Soldiers

Mental health support in India still remains dismal. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), as of 2020, India had 0.3 psychiatrists and 0.75 psychologists per 100,000 people, with most of them concentrated in urban areas.

"While do we have some policies on paper, what is extremely important going forward is to be able to implement them," says Rama Shyam.

"On one level, on paper we do have provisions for counsellors in schools, but do we have a proper monitoring system to keep check on whether we really have counsellors in school?" she asks.

"We should place more focus on mental health well-being of children. Mental health professionals should be made available for the family and children, be it at their place of stay, workplace and/or school."

Sumanta Kar, Secretary General, SOS Children’s Villages of India

"Mental health also needs to be incorporated into the primary health care structure. We have a public health care structure, and there are provisions to include mental health into the primary healthcare structure. Where have we reached vis-à-vis that, should really be evaluated," says Shyam.

To break the vacuum of mental health professionals, she suggests having guidelines wherein people in the community who are more aware are trained to become points of first aid — just like we have first aid for physical health—cadre for mental health as well.

"Everything about mental health was always difficult, even before the pandemic. Nobody understands how to really talk about these things," days Dr Poddar.

Therefore, speaking to your kids, to your peers, openly, starting with something as simple as sharing how you are feeling can go a long way, she adds.