Grappling With Uncertainty? Here Are A Few Tips To Help You Cope

Earlier this year, I launched a travel start-up with a friend. It was something which had been on my mind for a really long time, but I never really had the courage to go forward and do it. So when during a casual conversation with a friend, I found out that she too had a similar idea, we just went for it. This was supposed to be a game changer for me – a cause of great excitement, happiness and success.

But now I don’t know what’s going to become of it, or even what our approach towards it should be. Should we be tenacious, carry on and wait for people to begin travelling again? Or should we cut our losses and just jump ship? If we should wait, then for how long? If we shut shop at the first sight of trouble, then what does that say about us?

There are days when I wake up and feel like this was all a dream. The pandemic, the lockdown, people having lost their lives, their jobs, their livelihoods, the anxiety it has caused – all of it just a dream. I want to be able to shake it off like you do a nightmare and move on. But I can’t. Although it’s so surreal that it feels like the stuff we see in movies, it’s very much the reality for now. And for the foreseeable future.

Almost all of the counselling sessions I’ve had lately have been about the uncertainty of the future. How we don’t know what’s going to happen, what the future is going to look like, and how that is affecting the way we are dealing with our emotions, our relationships and the present. As a counsellor, and as someone who has had firsthand experience dealing with anxiety, it’s not difficult to see where it’s coming from.

Uncertainty and an inability to control what’s happening around us can be a source of great anxiety for many, including myself. So I’ve been thinking as well as talking to other counsellors about the resources/psychological techniques we can draw from to help us face the challenges which lie ahead.

Here are a few tips that can help you respond to all that’s happening around us with more calm and mental strength, without letting panic and stress take over. I am going to try to practise these too.

Tips to Help with Resilience

1. Practice Mindfulness, Even if it’s for 5 Minutes a Day

We’re worrying about the future constantly, jumping to worst case scenarios and catastrophizing everything in our heads. While that’s a normal reaction to fear, we need to be able to put a pin in it and stop the emotion from taking over. A good way to do this is by reminding ourselves that we will be more capable of taking care of ourselves when we are calmer.

Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the present moment. It’s about being aware of what’s on going on, on the outside and the inside. You can acknowledge the panic you’re feeling, but still don’t have to react to it. Instead try some meditation – or if that’s too difficult for you like it is for me, just focus on your breath.

I would not have believed this until a few weeks ago – but I promise it works. It stops your mind from imagining far-flung future scenarios and brings it back to the present. Dealing with what’s happening right now is going to make you more adept in dealing with the future, and will also give you a sense of purpose which will keep the anxiety at bay.

2. Focus on What Lies Under Your Control

Now that you’re hopefully focusing on the present – try to break that down even further to just concentrate on what’s really under your purview. It might seem like that nothing really is - after all, you can’t say when things will return to ‘normalcy’, what the new normal will even look like, or when the vaccine will be out.

But there’s still a lot you can control. Like, your routine for the day, what you react to, how cautious you are about hygiene and social distancing, your attitude, your connections with friends and family etc.

Try to balance out your performance tasks for each day like work and chores with your leisure activities like watching Netflix, taking up a new hobby etc. This would create a balance in your day and give you some things to look forward to. What would be even better is if you make a checklist – it works wonders for me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Filter out the news you read, and the amount of time you spend on it. You don’t have need updates every minute or even every hour – and not all sources are credible. Even this simple filtering will give you control, and clear a little bit of clutter in your mind.

3. Be Deliberate About the New Normal You Want to Enter Into

During tragic times, it’s normal for existential questions to pop up. But no matter how depressing and stressful this pandemic is, it’s something we will just have to ride out.

Given that we cannot outmanoeuvre or outmuscle it, the best course of action would be to try to find meaning in it, atleast at the micro-level. What changes can I make in my lifestyle to make it more sustainable and eco-friendly? What lesson does this teach me? (hint: gratitude)

We are in the middle of a world crisis, and if there’s anything we can do, it is to take responsibility for our own actions. To own up to things we were doing which weren’t working for us before and to alter them. To correct our course.

There’s lots you can’t do right now – but you can be deliberate about creating your new normal. Once you understand how powerful that intention can be, you’ll be able deal with the pandemic a lot better.

(Prachi Jain is a psychologist, trainer, optimist and reader and lover of red velvet cupcakes.)