On The Quint's podcast series Tell Me All, Soha Ali Khan spoke to us about growing up with privilege, her relationship with husband Kunal Khemu, and her bond with brother Saif Ali Khan and sister-in-law Kareena Kapoor Khan.
The actor also shared why she believes it’s “challenging to be in a long-term monogamous relationship,” her need for external validation, the importance of maintaining her individuality while being a mother, the insecurities that come with the profession, and why her parents didn’t want either her or Saif to become actors.
When reflecting on her childhood, Soha acknowledged the privilege she was raised with.
Despite her high-achieving, superstar parents—actor Sharmila Tagore and former Indian cricket team captain Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi—she describes her upbringing as "very secure".
Speaking about the influence her father had on her, she said, "my father was so silent and very much a non-teacher. He didn’t believe in telling you what to do, but he lived his life in a very authentic way. And I think I understood by watching him, that these are the values he subscribes to, and I really wanted to emulate that.”
He came from huge privilege, an aristocratic background, but he did see a lot of loss in his life. He lost his own father at the age of 11, he lost his eye, he lost his homes and land. As far as I could tell, perhaps in his own private time he was affected by it, but it didn’t shake his sense of self too much.Soha Ali Khan
Talking about fame, Soha also opened up about the need for external validation.
Reflecting on an incident from a few months back, she recalled being significantly impacted when she lost almost 40,000 Instagram followers as a result of a geopolitical event. "I was also a little under the weather, and there were lots of things that were happening," she shared.
I was trying to pinpoint, why am I anxious and upset, because it could have been one of five things. The minute my followers started going up, I felt better, but those other things had not changed.Soha Ali Khan
The actor also spoke about her relatioship with sister-in-law Kareena Kapoor Khan, "it's a bond that's strengthened over time. We have known each other for many years, but it has taken time—as I think any genuine relationship does—to build trust and to get to know each other. I feel like we have an independent relationship, and there are many things that we connect over."
The Rang De Basanti actor also recalled how her parents initially hoped that both she and her brother, Saif, wouldn’t pursue acting. “In a career where you don’t get a monthly paycheque, and where you have no control over how much you’re going to work, it’s understandable why my parents were protective and didn’t want us to join films,” she shared.
A generation ago, when you weren’t seeing yourself in your 40’s represented on screen. So I really thought, “I’m going to get to a point when I am 30-35 years old, and I’m going to be unemployed."Soha Ali Khan
Soha, who has been married to actor Kunal Khemu for ten years, spoke about what it takes to make a relationship work.
“The most challenging thing is to be in a long-term monogamous relationship. I’m quite lazy, not just with my work, but sometimes with my friendships and relationships—and that’s not a good thing. I think it’s important to stay true to yourself, but you have to make an effort. It is a choice that you and the other person are making every day to stay in that relationship when they don’t have to. It is definitely challenging."
Kunal is a hard worker and a romantic. He wants a good marriage, he’s not going to settle for less.Soha Ali Khan
Watch the video for more.