QSatire: On World Coconut Day, 6 People Who’ve Gone Coco-Nuts
On World Coconut Day, we decided to list the top (coco)nuts out there, who are too hard to crack.
Today is all about Coconuts. Literally!
The Asian and Pacific Coconut Community (APCC) have declared September 2 as the World Coconut Day.
We at The Quint decided to list the top (coco)nuts out there, who are either too hard to crack or probably on crack!
Sit back and enjoy this spicy coconut chutney made exclusively for The Quint’s readers.
Hardik Patel
Hardik Patel has cracked the whip in Gujarat. The 22-year-old advocates that India should also have US-type gun laws. “Such type of law should be there in a country like ours where they’re so much crime,” Hardik said, who carries a gun himself. Saru che! Like there is not enough killing thanks to random people carrying guns on the streets! Instead of giving interviews to news channels, it’s time for you to drink some coconut water, and read some news instead.
Smriti Irani
“I am a hard nut to crack,” asserts the HRD minister Smriti Irani. Well that would have sounded good when Irani successfully cracked it in the Parliament by attacking Congress President Sonia Gandhi, accusing her for reading from a paper while responding. Irani also went all nuts over Rajdeep Sardesai during a much-hyped TV interview. But unfortunately, the minister failed to crack her own educational qualification. Irani and her degrees of separations, we say.
Pahlaj Nihalani
The Central Board of Film Certification has been certified as a laughingstock, thanks to its chief Pahlaj Nihalani. His absurd, illogical diktats have not only irked filmmakers, but also cinema lovers. The Modi bhakt, who once produced films known for their rather amusing song lyrics, such as Main Maal Gaadi Tu Dhakka Lagaa and Khada Hai has taken it upon himself to clean Bollywood and TV by banning 28 cuss words. What a nut!
Niranjan Jyoti
The Union Minister Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti on Sunday said that Hindu women should never marry men from other communities as that would weaken “Hindu nari shakti”. There goes secularism, our fundamental right. It’s good to know that the Sadhvi thinks Hindu nari have some shakti. But in December last year, she had landed herself in a controversy after she told voters to choose between “Ramzadon” and “haramzadon”. Now that’s one bad nut.
Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh
The Sant is one hard nut to crack. His debut film MSG was loved by his bhakts, but crashed at the Box Office. This did not dampen the guruji’s spirit who is back with a sequel, MSG2. Though the fate of MSG2 is quite predictable, but here’s to the Insaan, who’ll never stop acting, directing, singing, composing and god knows what all.
Miley Cyrus
She is definitely on crack. Miley Cyrus’s love for marijuana is well known. The singer once told a magazine, “Hollywood is a coke town, but weed is so much better. And Molly, too. Those are happy drugs – social drugs.” That probably explains her crazy moments at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards!
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