QSatire: Drinking Alcohol Should be our Fundamental Right

Madhya Pradesh Home Minister Babulal Gaur says, “drinking alcohol is our fundamental right”. Any guesses, why?

Babulal Gaur has a fine taste. (Photo: The image has been altered by The Quint)

As enlisted by the Constitution of India, here are our fundamental rights:
Right to Equality.
Right to Freedom.
Right against Exploitation.
Right to Freedom of Religion.
Cultural and Educational Rights.
Right to Constitutional Remedies.

If you thought the list ended there, it is time to think again.

According to Madhya Pradesh Home Minister Babulal Gaur, we have a new one —  Right to Drink Liquor.

It (drinking) is one’s fundamental right. Drinking is a social status symbol these days.
-Babulal Gaur, Home Minister, Madhya Pradesh

We wonder what made him talk about fundamental rights in the middle of a press conference on the Vyapam Scam. Maybe he had a glass of scotch before the conference began?

Whatever it may be, we completely agree with him.

Drinking alcohol should be our fundamental right because:

India Lost the Series to Bangladesh

We feel your emotions Virat Kohli. This is how we felt when you lost the series. $@$%#$

The Bangla tigers humiliated and bruised the Men in Blue and won their first-ever bilateral series against India. And if this isn’t a good enough reason to gobble down a few pegs, then what is it?

Rains Dampen Internet and Cable Connections

Ankho ka taara. Literally! During the monsoon.

You know the monsoons has arrived when Internet and cable connections conk off. Living in the 21st century, you suddenly go back to the 19th century. And if you’re living in your ancestors’ era, you might as well do what they did best — drink their hearts out. So pour your poison and enjoy the rains. Cheers!

Bollywood Says So

Bring it on!

Chaar bottle vodka, One bottle down, Talli ho gayi, Humka peeni hai — toh phir peeyo na!  You dance to these songs, you hum their tunes, then why not follow their message?

Delhi University Cut-offs

This is what Delhi University does to you. 

Getting through Delhi University is a nightmare. This year, for its undergraduate courses, two colleges had already touched the 100 % cut-off mark (I need a drink just for writing this sentence). Imagine how stressed the parents of the applicants will be. For their sanity, drinking should be made our fundamental right.

We Can’t Listen To Netas B******t Anymore

Ab bas!

Hindu religion can solve all problems. Sanskrit should be propagated to purify minds of people. Rahul Gandhi is the cause of the Nepal Earthquake because he eats beef. Hindu women should have at least four children. Come on, you need alcohol to give you the strength and stomach to digest all this b******t. Chaar bottle should do the job!