Now that Valentine’s Day is safely out of the way, we can may be talk sanely about love again. The kind that will be relevant for the rest of the year. A recent Tinder survey found that while Indian women look for sense of humour in a man they want to date, for Indian men, looks remain the top priority.
So here’s an open letter and some tips to help you think a little - and hopefully change - before you ditch everything and everyone else for just a pretty face.
My dear Indian men,
You have somewhat of a global reputation for being insensitive, sexist, and generally upholding prehistoric ideas about how a woman should behave, among other things. Invariably, you want a pretty spunky girl to date, who should then transform herself overnight into a susheel sundari bharatiya bahu. She should bear your children, but still flaunt a figure like Deepika Padukone. Oh and keep looking like that even when she is 60.
Dude, wake up!
Ok, we realise you are baffled at this point. All this is too deep for you to handle no? So let’s break this down. Here’s a ready manual to help you on a date with a woman who may not look straight out of Bollywood, but is worth much, much more. And trust us, you can do much better than make sheep eyes at her.
Amazing as it sounds, a girl is a human being just like you. So just as you chat with your male buddies, you can chat with her. You don’t need a special vocabulary for it for Chrissake!
May be women should go around with a notice board saying ‘I am not from Mars, I speak human’?
So you got her flowers and balloons on Valentine’s Day and took her out for a candlelit dinner. You can’t do that for the rest of the 364 days now, can you? Find common interests you share with her and plan your dates around them.
No, sitting in coffee shops don’t count.
Now do what you do best - think about yourself for a moment. Think how you are such an interesting person, with likes and dislikes, dreams and fears. Now consider the fact that this woman you are dating is also another human being - just like you.
She is a person, you know, with a mind and heart behind that face.
As they say, beauty is skin-deep. As you grow older - yes, unacceptable as it is, you will - chances are you will bald and grow a belly. Your chiselled looks would be lost behind layers of fat and then wrinkled skin. In short, you would be one of the old fat men you look down upon today.
If Bollywood is where you take your cue from in all matters of the heart, look at the yesteryear heroes and heroines. The natural life cycle spares no one.
Ah well, if you can, we should too, right? And think about it. If women start going only for looks... well, let's just say there aren't too many Hrithik Roshans and Ranbir Kapoors out there. Where would that leave you?
Tch. Tch. Don’t take Beauty and the Beast so seriously.
(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)