Women in the workplace often choose not to report sexual harassment. There’s more to lose than gain, right? Who wants to piss off their boss, get fired, be whispered about, and worse than all – be shamed publicly?
But what happens if you don’t report sexual harassment?
But then, one day someone speaks up. You finally find the courage to open up about it.
But by then, it’s too damn late. You share your story anonymously on social media, but don’t file a formal complaint.
It’s hard to do that now since you’ve lost all proof.
Unfortunately, that’s the story of most of the women who finally mustered up the courage to bring TVF founder Arunabh Kumar to book. As inspiring as their coming out was, it is equally frustrating to know that they’ll have a hard time proving their claims, since they didn’t lodge an official complaint at the time of the incidents, and because proofs get diluted over time.
The fact that more women are opening up about incidents of sexual harassment is a good sign, for sure. But what we need to understand ladies, is that the law is actually on our side. All we really need, is to report sexual harassment without guilt, shame or delay and keep some proof of the trauma.
It’s crucial that women report sexual harassment without any delay. That’s hard to do given the shock and trauma of it all. But the more time you give it, the more leverage your harasser gets to turn things in his favour.
So how late is too late?
Advocate Abha Singh of the Bombay High Court strongly urges quick reporting of the incident:
Your harasser knows that you’ll think twice before reporting. He thrives on your fear. If you’re not ready to be the whistle blower yet, ask a friend, a colleague or a family member to report the incident on your behalf. This makes them the informant and you the witness. Make sure you reach out to someone for help and tell them your story.
The ICC is duty bound to help you report an FIR if you wish to do so. And if it’s not being receptive, you can report them too.
The woman who first spoke up about Arunabh Kumar in a blog, recently confirmed that she has finally filed a formal complaint against him. Her reasons for not having done that earlier might be valid, but had she not mustered up the courage to report, her trauma would’ve amounted to nothing at all. Given all that, her identity continues to be protected on all platforms.
Despite her courage to report, Indian Fowler does admit that it’s all about the proof.
There’s not much the law can do in a he-said versus she-said scenario. What it needs to prove guilt is some kind of proof, or even proof of your attempts to reach out for help. If you’re being subjected to sexual harassment at a place of work, think about how you can document it. E-mails, audio recordings, secret video recordings, CCTV footage, phone messages, alibis, everything will help you prove your accusation.
Sexual harassment might be a challenge for a woman to prove. But documented evidence of your efforts to reach out for help can help your case.
In the digital world that we live in, chances of you having received a lewd message, inappropriate e-mail, porn clips/images are high. Make sure you don’t delete those, ever.
When you don’t report sexual harassment, you’re making it worse for other victims too. In Arunabh’s case and also in the one involving Dr RK Pachauri (the former Director General of The Energy & Resources Institute), a lot of women decided to open up, even about old incidents of sexual harassment, because they didn’t want the woman in question to be standing alone. Advocate Abha Singh says that more the voices, the easier it is to prove that the man responsible has a history of serial attempts. In Pachauri’s case, the fact that so many survivors emerged and spoke up, built the pressure on him to step down. At the beginning, that might have been unthinkable for the lone voice standing.
Employers and those responsible for the execution of our laws, will only take it seriously, when we step up and report.
When you don’t report sexual harassment, you reject the legal system, that has been put in place to support you in the first place. The execution of the law might be disappointing – but till we make people accountable for it by raising a storm about injustice, women will end up losing the battle.
Rizwan Siddiquee believes that police officers in India do not wish to register FIRs, especially in cases where they have nothing to gain. But at the same time, they’re duty bound to do so and can be punished for denying a person that right.
Mihira Sood, a Delhi-based lawyer – who has previously spoken up about her own personal experience of sexual harassment – also sees another problem with the Internal Complaints Committee that every organisation is mandated to have under the Vishaka guidelines.
But if the ICC doesn’t help you, you have the option of simply filing an FIR with the police. One can’t deny that reporting sexual harassment is by no means easy. But everything said and done, not speaking about it leaves one with a sense of guilt and victimisation.
With more women speaking up about their traumatic experiences, there seems to be a much needed shift in putting the shame where it belongs.
But if you hold your peace, that too will stop.
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