Saree Needs Curves, Demands a Derriere, Kate Has None: Shobhaa De

Shobhaa De body shames Kate Middleton, says she doesn’t have the curves to wear a saree.

Shobhaa De (Right) with Kate Middleton at a charity event attended by several Bollywood celebrities and socialites. (Photo: AP)

How do you stay relevant? You meant something to fashion-blind women in the 90s but times have changed. So, lets be contrarian by insulting the person making the headline of the day.

If you’re Shobhaa De, you pick on the Royal Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton. You pick on her designer clothes, body shame and ridicule her, even question why there was not a hint of saffron in any of her outfits (?!)

“Khair, let’s count our blessings, ji. Kate has skipped wearing a saree. Her waist is perfect for crinoline ball gowns from “Gone with the Wind”. But a saree needs curves. A saree demands a derriere. Kate has none. Thank God, some misguided fashion guru has spared her and us so far. Now, I am keeping my fingers crossed she isn’t polite enough to say “Okay” to advisers who may want her to wear a lehenga during the ultimate photo-op in front of the ultimate Monument to Love - the Taj Mahal”

Shobhaa De in a <a href="http://www.ndtv.com/opinion/thank-you-kate-for-not-wearing-a-sari-1394708">blog on NDTV.</a>

Shobhaa De begins her dress-by-dress critique by complaining how nobody was interested in what the “luminous and radiant Duchess of Cambridge had to say during her whirlwind trip to India”, but everyone – including herself – perked up to know what she would wear.

The self-proclaimed “opinion-shaper” starts with the ‘chakachak’ Jenny Packham blue gown which, according to her, could’ve come from one of the crammed galis behind the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel that caters to Arab tourists.

“Perhaps Kate’s stylist mixed up the destination. Honey, the Duchess was in Mumbai, not Abu Dhabi”, she writes.

Prince William, Kate Middleton, Aishwarya Rai and Shah Rukh Khan pose for the cameras (Photo: Yogen Shah)

Next, the printed Anita Dongre dress, which incidentally caused the Indian designer’s website to crash after the Duchess of Cambridge was seen wearing it. However, Shobhaa De thought of it as “more Anokhi and Fabindia; a bit of Fashion Street too”.

“Not Anita Dongre’s most inspired looks...but she looked fresh, carefree and young”, writes Shobhaa De. (Photo: AP)

And then, the aunty gets her national on. Shobhaa De compared “Narendra Modi’s pristine white, smartly fitted ensemble, stylishly set off with a baby pink bundy jacket” that “made a bigger statement” to “Kate’s wishy washy aqua dress”.

As if the dress was not enough, she goes on to write “her expression was equally listless. There wasn’t a touch of saffron in sight. It was so theek hai as to be boring”.

No saffron? Kate Middleton’s pastel green dress interspersed with patches of fine lace was “very theek hai” for De’s sartorial sensibilities. (Photo: AP)

But the worst dress on display, according to the 68-year-old “social commentator”, was the Alexander McQueen.

Excuse me – what was that? Those paisleys and kairis and what nots going all over the place. The bright red background which made Kate look rather pale, and the strange cuts and contours! This was India’s first glimpse of the yummy and gracious Duchess as she stepped out into the bright Mumbai sunshine. 

“Perhaps, a pastel day suit in linen would have done the trick” for Shobaa De. (Photo: AP)

But the man can do no wrong, according to the columnist who went on to praise Prince William who “looked hot enough just the way [he] showed up at the reception... projecting the right amount of British nonchalance into what could have been an unbearably stuffy evening”.

Get a life, Ms De.