Here’s Decoding Pahlaj Nihalani’s Bollywood Guide to Kisses
Hey bollywood, be befikre about kisses now!
.
Good news, guys.
It seem our censor board chairman Pahlaj Nihalani has finally grown up and accepted that people do kiss in this world.
Oh yeah!
The man has become supercool and has passed Befikre uncut, with a UA certificate.
Pahlaj Nihalani’s khullam-khulla attitude towards smooching has left us shocked and confused. Especially because a year ago, Pahlaj mercilessly chopped James Bond’s kissing scenes in Spectre. A few months ago, he shortened Anushka Sharma and Ranbir Kapoor’s kiss in Ae Dil Hai Mushkil that was shot in London. A month later, he allowed Ranveer Singh and Vaani Kapoor to lock lips approximately 40 times in Paris.
So where did Karan Johar go wrong? What did Aditya Chopra do right?
Kiss-a kya hai?
We at The Quint tried to decode Pahlaj Nihalani’s Bollywood guide to kissing.
Chapter 1
Indian Lips, Foreign Soil
If you’re born and brought up in India and are shown doing chuma-chati in a foreign land than Pahlaj baba will ask you to trim down your intimacy. ‘Cuz aadarsh balaks don’t do gutar-goo in pardes.
With... an exception
If you’re a young Indian born and brought up in firang-land and you’re being naughty, than Pahlaj kaka will have no issues with it.
‘Cuz when in Paris, do... Err, kiss as the French do.
Chapter 2
Indian Lips, Indian Soil
It’s sanskari only when you’re married.
Otherwise...
*Beep*
Chapter 3
Foreign Lips, Indian Soil
Atithi devo bhava!
Chapter 4
Zoomwalli Kiss
Kitna clearly dikta hai... Hawji!
Wide-Angle Kiss
Yeh sahi hai. You can see the wider picture also.
Chapter 5
Foreign Lips, Foreign Soil
James Bond may have a license to kill but he certainly does not have the license to kiss in India.
C.E.N.S.O.R.E.D
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