Uber, Ola Diary: 9 Types of People You Never Want to Carpool With

Some co-passengers make you wish you hadn’t decided to carpool.

If you’re tired of the metro and local rush hour, haggling with auto wallahs or fighting against gravity on a public bus, you probably swear by taxi giants Uber and Ola to get around the city.

But of course, if you’re going to be using the service everyday, you might as well save some of that ‘moolah’. So carpooling it is! But carpooling is not without its problems.

Here’s a list of 9 carpoolers you never want in your cab, but often find yourself stuck with.

Note: If you don’t end up recognising them, could it be that you’re one of them? Just a timid suggestion.

1.The Chatty-Chatterson

The Chatty Chatterson sees you reading a book or listening to music and somehow takes that as an indication to strike up a conversation. Not a cursory ‘Hello’ to exchange pleasantries, but a full-fledged conversation about life and what it means.

2.The Loud Phone Caller

The Loud Phone caller talks on the phone throughout the ride, often so loudly it seems as if they haven’t noticed there’s another person in the cab.

Sometimes though, the loud and (obnoxious) phone call is for your benefit as you hear their incorrigible gloating: “I want that done right now, I don’t care how you do it!” or “Arre, let’s just book a villa in Barcelona for the summer na.”

3.The Burdened-with-Bags

The Burdened-with-Bags is the one who books a car for two people, not for another friend, but so they can accommodate all their bags and belongings. Whether these are shopping bags or luggage from some trip, we’re not sure.

But the next thing you know, you’re sitting in one corner of the cab, holding a box full of mysterious contents, just to make enough space for yourself.

4.The Clueless

The Clueless is often visiting a place for the first time, but doesn’t have the slightest clue about how to get there. So you’re doing a parikrama (round) of the city until they figure out the directions.

In times like this, if one thing becomes abundantly clear, it’s that Google maps is not always your friend!

5.The Opportunist

The Opportunist is not hard to come by, and they’ll literally take you for a ride. Since pool prices are far lower and are fixed, The Opportunist is known to take an unnecessarily long route from point A to B, perhaps doing their errands on the way or picking up another friend, but paying only the predetermined fare.

In this tough world, you’ve gotta protect yourself from The Opportunist.

6.The Crowd of Three

These are people who book a cab for three instead of just taking a separate cab (but pooling is just so much cheaper, to be honest).

So now your lone self is stuck with three complete strangers. But power through, champ!

7.The ‘Radio’Head

The ‘Radio’head simply likes to take control of the radio. They usually sit in the passenger seat, and bounce from one radio station to the next before finally settling on a misogynistic Honey Singh song.

Through this arduous process, they never once ask you if you have any preferences or if you want the radio on at all.

8.The Inaccessible

When pooling sometimes, you embark on a not-so-exciting journey to quite literally the centre of the earth (okay maybe not ‘literally’). The location for The Inaccessible’s pick up is deep inside some winding, twisted lane, and you spend half your travel time looking for this mysterious pooler’s pick up point.

9.The Dodger

‘The Dodger’ never calls after booking a cab, keeping you (and the driver) on tenterhooks, waiting for them to show up, or at least call.

More often than not, the ride gets cancelled after you’ve waited for what seems like the slowest 10 minutes of your life. And ‘The Dodger’ never shows up.

And as a Pleasant Bonus: The Ghost Rider

The ‘Ghost Rider’ is rare to find, but is perhaps the best co-passenger.

It’s one of those rare but amazing car rides when you’re not matched with anybody else. There’s nobody else to share the car with, no awkward conversations, just a quiet solitary party in the backseat.

Gotta cherish that blessed ‘Ghost Rider’ for not existing!